Post-wedding downtime be like…
Dick: *looking on as Selina thanks the Justice Society for attending* That’s funny.
Bruce: *loosening his tie and drinking his third glass of wine* What’s funny?
Dick: She pulls ridiculous stunts and is crazy. She’s the female you. *pats him on the chest and walks away*
Batwoman: *gesturing to a gagged and restrained henchman out of earshot* Would you like first crack at him?
Nightwing:
Red Robin:
Robin:
Red Hood: *steps aside* Kate, please, you’re our guest.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Let no one say that the Batboys aren’t gentlemen.
When your adoptive father’s being beaten up by Bane on national TV and you remember him ordering you to “stay out of it no matter what”…
Nightwing: *holding back angry tears*
Red Robin: *hacking into the satellites to disable public broadcasting*
Robin: *gripping his sword so hard that the handle nearly breaks*
Red Hood:
Red Hood: So what do we do now? Sit around and try not to die?!
Red Hood: *grabs his jacket and storms out of the Batcave*
When you spot the Batplane (and the four-foot teenager driving it) heading towards you…
The Signal: Why do I need back-up?
Robin [on the Comm Link]: No, no, you misunderstand, Thomas. You are the back-up. Baby steps.
Sorry, sweetheart. He likes pulling rank.
Batman: *climbs in through window with burns, bruises, and a tattered suit*
Batman: That was close.
Alfred: Speaking of close, Master Bruce, you are getting married in five minutes.
Yes, this is probably how Bruce and Selina’s wedding day is going to start.
Because it’s canon that Batman keeps journals (and that he’s deeply in love)…
Clark: The part where you and Selina met. It’s right out of a twisted, vigilante rom-com.
Bruce: Yes. I believe they call it a “meet cute”.
Riding the Batmobile for the first time be like…
Tim [to Bruce]: *wiping vomit off his mouth* There are two things on this Earth that I’m thankful for right now: that you cannot read my mind and this seat belt right here.
Lip-reading your adoptive father’s phone conversations with colleagues be like…
Nightwing: Bruce’s mouth hasn’t moved in three and a half minutes.
Red Hood: *shrugs* Maybe Hal’s got him on hold.
Red Robin: No, no. His nostrils are flaring, he’s pacing like a maniac, and he just switched his phone from his right hand to his left hand like he wants to punch someone.
Very few beings in the Multiverse can make Batman lose his cool like a Green Lantern can.
Red Hood: You know what it’s going to say on my next tombstone?
Arsenal: Yes, I do. It’s going to say, “Here lies Jason Peter Todd, Beloved Curmudgeon”.
Red Hood: No. It will say "Here lies Jason Peter Todd. We think. We’re not really sure because we couldn’t find all of him”.
Red Hood: Just so I’m clear, Roy…
Red Hood: You want to drive a truck with a dirty bomb made out of uranium and TNTP, which you personally told me is the most unstable explosive on the planet, through this jungle on, to say the least, uneven terrain. That’s what you’ve come up with?
Arsenal: We’re going to drive real slow.
Red Hood:
Red Hood: I’ll find the keys.
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