When you and your best friend get into a heated argument about fatherhood…
Bruce: *referring to the situation with Kon-El* Unlike you, I can’t just walk away from my children.
Clark: At least my children can look me in the eye and know that I never lie to them.
Batman: *rubs the bridge of his nose wearily*
Batman: I think you might be right.
Nightwing: That’s very good news! Care to elaborate?
Don’t push it, Richard.
When your partner’s doppleganger from a different Earth has a skill you could use in dealing with a mob boss right about now…
Arsenal: *whispering* You do speak Spanish, right?
Red Hood: *whispering back* Spanish? I barely speak English!
“Bamboozled” is a legitimate word, Mr. Classic Literature Fan. You’re doing fine.
Touring your best friend’s (humongous) bedroom be like…
Jon: *sees a sketch pad on an immaculately organized antique desk* What do you draw about?
Damian: Everything. Anything. My thoughts. My insights into the human condition.
Jon: Wow! Really? Do you mind if I —
Damian: If it will keep you quiet, please do.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Not how you treat your guests, but okay.
When your adoptive father wants to have a private conversation with a colleague but you’re bored out of your mind and eavesdropping seems fun..
Nightwing [on the Comm Link]: *hanging from one of the ceiling stalactites in the Batcave* His mouth hasn’t moved in three and a half minutes.
Red Hood [on the Comm Link]: *crouching behind the glass case of his Robin uniform* Hal Jordan’s probably got him on hold.
Robin [on the Comm Link]: *sitting inside the dinosaur’s oral cavity* No, no. His nostrils are flaring. He’s pacing like a maniac.
Red Robin [on the Comm Link]: *viewing Batman from his own bedroom via a secret camera he installed on the Batmobile* And he just switched his phone from his right hand to his left hand like he wants to punch someone.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Perhaps because he knew that you boys have been listening in all along? Y’all ain’t slick.
Batman: *discussing the do’s and don’ts for an upcoming mission*
Red Hood [to The Signal]: *whispering* Don’t worry about it, man.
Red Hood: *gestures to his brothers and to himself* You’re kind of like a Robin now. We make our own rules.
Nightwing: *winks*
Red Robin: *grins*
Robin: *salutes*
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Bros before… broody, mood-killing, adoptive fathers clad in leather.
When you call for back-up but end up battling a bunch of rogues by yourself…
Medic [speaking into the radio]: He’s lost a lot of blood.
Red Hood: I didn’t lose it. I’ve been sitting in it for hours, waiting for one of my brothers to get back from dance class or something. *stands up and drags himself to his motorcycle, leaving a trail of blood behind him*
Jason: *shoves Tim out of his room and shuts the door behind them* You invaded my privacy. I have a right to be upset, okay?
Tim: It’s not snooping if something is out in the open. That’s the rule.
Jason: There’s no rule.
Tim: Are you serious? “If it’s not hidden, it’s not forbidden.” You’ve never heard of that?
Jason: No, I’ve never heard of it because you just made it up.
So he saw the little Bizarro plushie on your bed (or was it the pair of Batman boxers under it?). So what? It’s adorable, Jay!
Superman: Being a superhero is a hard job to do.
Batman: And an even harder job to let go.
At the Batcave’s Medical Bay…
Dick: *gets out of the X-ray area* So, hand-to-hand combat, parkour, jumping out of airplanes, that’s all out, right?
Alfred: *gives him a “What do you think?” look and walks out*
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 