Mornings at the Manor…
Damian: *preparing his dental hygiene paraphernalia*
Jason: *standing in front of the mirror, peeling dead skin off himself*
Damian: Gross, Todd!
Jason: Hey, Little D! Want some double-dead beef jerky? *tosses the skin at Damian*
And the ensuing destruction of Wayne Manor property has forced Bruce to have two separate bathrooms constructed.
How Batman politely leaves a conversation…
Batman: Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some death to defy.
Batman: *grapple-hooks away*
Red Hood: Roy?
Arsenal: Yeah?
Red Hood:
It’s not your fault.
Arsenal:
What?
Red Hood:
It’s not your fault.
Arsenal:
I know.
Red Hood:
It’s not your fault.
Arsenal: *annoyed* I know.
Red Hood:
No, Roy. Roy. It’s not your fault.
Arsenal:
Don’t do this to me, man. Not you, man.
Red Hood: *puts arm around Roy* It’s not your fault.
Arsenal: *pushes Jason’s arm away* Screw you! Cut it out, man!
Red Hood:
It’s not your fault.
Arsenal:
*starts to sob heavily* Why is it so hard? I didn’t know it was going to be so hard.
Starfire: …
Mornings at the Manor…
Alfred: *decorating pancakes with whipped butter and blueberries*
Dick: *eating cereal while doing a one-armed handstand*
Jason: *throwing bacon bits at Dick’s face*
Tim: *enters the kitchen*
Damian: What’s that smell? *sniffs the room*
Everyone else: *stops to sniff*
Damian: Smells like sweat and anger and shame.
Tim: *with dark rings under his eyes*
Tim: *pours coffee onto the wrong end of his mug*
Tim: *sighs* Yep.
“Red Hood/Arsenal: Behind the Scenes”…
Red Hood [to the camera]: I guess I’ve learned a little something about what it means to be a good partner.
Arsenal: *yelling from outside* Hey, Jaybird, do you wanna play baseball?
Red Hood: Oh, you freakin – ! Could you leave me alone? You are the neediest guy!
Red Hood: *faces camera again*
Red Hood: *clears throat*
“Grayson” by Damian al Ghul Wayne, an excerpt…
And his hugs are so delighting
What makes them nice
Is that they got a little spice
Is that they’re tighter than a vice
And they go on for an hour
When you have no time for your brother’s nonsense…
Jason: *reading the Gotham Gazette* A local family just got forced out of their own home by ghosts. Who’re they gonna call?
Tim: *pauses from typing on the Batcomputer after working on a case for five hours straight*
Tim: *sighs* The Ghostbusters, Jay?
Jason: No, Tim, their insurance company! That’s just stupid, what you said.
Yeah, Tim. Jason’s got no time for your nonsense right now.
So, remember that time when Darkseid’s Omega Beams sent Batman back in time? Well, he met some, uh, old friends there…
Caveman Hal [to Caveman Bruce]: Bats, people buy wheel because of sexy wife. Tonight, you and me party like it’s 9!
Welcome to the DC Universe, where nothing is “strange” anymore…
Bethany Snow: Coming up this half hour on Channel 52 News: Flies on your face. How many is too many?
Ambush Bug: But first: That orange thing in the sky, and what you can do to please it.
Alfred: Master Bruce, I’m so proud of you. Once again you’ve brought our family to the edge of the abyss and, at the very last minute, you saved us all.
Dick, Jason, Tim and Damian: *nod solemnly*
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