Mornings at the Manor…
Alfred: *decorating pancakes with whipped butter and blueberries*
Dick: *eating cereal while doing a one-armed handstand*
Jason: *throwing bacon bits at Dick’s face*
Tim: *enters the kitchen*
Damian: What’s that smell? *sniffs the room*
Everyone else: *stops to sniff*
Damian: Smells like sweat and anger and shame.
Tim: *with dark rings under his eyes*
Tim: *pours coffee onto the wrong end of his mug*
Tim: *sighs* Yep.
Tag: source: family guy
Timothy Jackson Drake, a saga…
Batman: Robin. Are you sleeping while on patrol?
Robin: Uh, uh… No! There’s, uh… a… bug in my eye and I’m trying to suffocate it.
Meeting Batman’s “blood son” for the first time…
Alfred: Master Damian, you cannot leave the table until you’ve finished your Lobster Thermidor.
Damian: Well, then, I shall sit here until one of us expires, and you’ve got a good forty years on me, old man!
Mornings at the Manor…
Dick: *staring at his cereal bowl*
Dick: Timmy! There’s a message in my Alphabits! It says, “Oooooo”!
Tim: Dick, those are Cheerios.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Go back to sleep, Dick. You clearly need more of it.
When Batdad just automatically responds with some random punishment to carry out…
Alfred: Master Bruce, do you even know which one of your sons I’m talking about?
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Does it even matter anymore?
When your legally dead brother’s “low-key” bitter that he wasn’t included in the latest Wayne Family painting…
Tim: Did you just paste your picture over our family portrait?
Jason: Yeah, I think it looks better.
Tim: You pasted it over my face.
Jason: Yeah, I think it looks better.
Waiting for your eldest brother at his Blüdhaven aparment be like…
Damian: *pinches nose* Disgusting. What’s that smell?
Jason: It’s either bad meat or good cheese.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Find yourself a Nightwing who can do both.
“Grayson” by Damian al Ghul Wayne, an excerpt…
And his hugs are so delighting
What makes them nice
Is that they got a little spice
Is that they’re tighter than a vice
And they go on for an hour
Mornings at the Manor…
Bruce: *picks up the Gotham Gazette*
Dick: *doing pull-ups using the kitchen chandelier*
Alfred: *tugs at Dick’s feet to get him off the chandelier*
Tim: *typing furiously on his laptop, eyes narrowed with concentration*
Jason: *pours a fifth shot of espresso into Tim’s mug*
Damian: *picks bacon off Jason’s plate and feeds it to Alfred the Cat*
Bruce: *puts down the newspaper, buries his face in a hand and shakes his head*
Bruce: Just one question, boys. Do you get pleasure out of humiliating your family?
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
I’d say stick to the Business Section, Bruce, but I guess it’s kind of hard to avoid the headlines, huh?
“Death of the Family” be like…
Nightwing: Wait a minute… Jay, are you clapping?
Red Hood: Yeah.
Red Robin: So, your hands are free?
Red Hood: Yeah.
Robin: Joker didn’t tie up your hands?
Red Hood: *shrugs* No. He must’ve forgotten.
Batgirl: Do you realize that we’ve been sitting here for 14 hours?
Red Hood: Well, get pissy if you want, guys! But I’ve enjoyed the time we’ve spent as a family. *sulks*
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 