Batman [to the rest of the Justice League]: If anybody has a problem with how I utilize all the tools at my disposal, be it Superman, my Robins, or the coffee machine, there’s the door. Back to work.
Tag: source: elementary
Red Hood [to Batman]: When the Justice League asked you to join them, did they tell you that you’d be an asset or just an ass?
When you see Bruce having breakfast while reading a newspaper at eight in the morning…
Dick: Bruce, are you feeling okay? You’re acting… normal.
When your cheerful, optimistic super best alien friend just wants to make the most of his time with you…
Batman: Clark, I am dissecting a body in the middle of the night. We are not having a moment.
When another Multiverse Crisis hits…
Superman: I always imagined you’d have a secret lair beneath a volcano for such an occasion.
Batman: …
Batman: *grins*
Well, you’re probably not wrong, Clark.
Superman: How do you do it, guess things?
Batman: I observe, and then I deduce.
Superman: How did you know I was a farmer? You said you could tell from my hand.
Batman: Hands, plural. It had calluses, not soft.
Superman: How did you know my family was Kryptonian?
Batman: Google. Not everything is deducible.
Batman: You know, Superman, I take it all back. I’m beginning to find your companionship extremely useful.
Superman: *grins proudly*
Batman: It’s like white noise. It puts me in a state where I think and observe better.
When another Multiverse Crisis hits…
Superman: I always imagined you’d have a secret lair beneath a volcano for such an occasion.
Batman: …
Batman: *grins*
Why you don’t threaten Barbara Gordon…
Commissioner Gordon [to Joker]: If anything happens to her, the next time you see me, I won’t be a cop.
At last, the true origin story…
Superman: How do you do all that?
Batman: I was bitten by a radioactive detective.
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