Fighting with your best friend be like…
Superman [to Wonder Woman]: This awkward silence has been going on for days! Granted, Bruce looks amazing when he broods, but this has got to stop!
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Getting off duty and finding an intruder in your apartment be like…
Dick: *walking into the dark kitchen, taking off his BPD uniform*
Dick: *pauses when he notices the light*
Dick: *carefully grabs an escrima stick from a hidden compartment in the cupboard*
Dick: *prepares to pounce on the intruder behind the open refrigerator door…*
Dick: aaaaAAHHHH… Huh?
Red Hood: *blinks*
Dick: *blinks*
Red Hood: *mouth stuffed with donuts and face covered in sugar sprinkles*
Red Hood: What are you, the donut police? Because if you are, you’re legally bound to tell me, or else it’s entrapment.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Don’t judge your brother, Dick. Beating up criminals can really build up an appetite.
Alfred [to Dick]: Master Bruce’s whole personality is based around guarding himself. You don’t have to be like that to be a man.
Duke: I just spent the last few years thinking that you guys knew more than me about life, and I just found out that you guys are just as dumb as me.
Jason: Da doi.
Tim: Yeah. Da doi.
At the Annual Justice League Prom Night…
Bruce: I want to be security.
Clark: Let’s do it together! We can be partners.
Hal: Now, that’s a buddy cop movie I would watch. Which one of you would be the by-the-books cop and which of you would be the bad ass?
Bruce: Don’t be silly, Jordan. I’d be the bad ass.
When your faux fiancée won’t believe how nosy your siblings can be…
Tim [to Tam]: As soon as we touch, the blinds will open, and three annoying, but lovable, misfits will be staring at us.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
And one creepy, but loveable, Batdad will be spying through binoculars from three rooftops away.
When you disobey a direct order from Batman…
Batman:
*stands up slowly from his chair and glares at Simon*
Hrrrn. Are you trying to get formidable on me, Lantern?
Green Lantern: I-It worked on H-Hal –
Batman: Infomercials work on Jordan.
The Flash (Barry): *breathes*
Green Lantern (Hal): Just so you know, bud, you’re creating six different timelines.
When you disobey a direct order from Batman…
Batman:
*stands up slowly from his chair and glares at Simon*
Hrrrn. Are you trying to get formidable on me, Lantern?
Green Lantern: I-It worked on H-Hal –
Batman: Infomercials work on Jordan.
Jason: *walks into Damian’s bedroom*
Dick, Tim, and Damian: *playing cards on the floor*
Jason: *plops down beside Tim*
Damian: You can’t be in here, Todd. You already have three farting strikes against you.
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