Nightwing: Guys, we don’t have “origin stories”, we have lives.

Nightwing: *looks around at the rest of the Batfamily*

Nightwing: At least… Yup, just me.


Just because you have a healthy social life, it doesn’t mean you get to rub it in people’s faces. Dick.

When you’ve been hopped up on caffeine for way too long… 

The Batfamily: *watching Cassandra’s ballet recital at the Gotham City Opera House* 

Tim: This is amazing! And possibly in real time!


In which Jason and Damian get permission from Dick to tranquilize their brother. 

In the middle of a firefight and they’re horribly outnumbered…

Red Hood: What do you want me to do? *cocks both guns*

Robin: Stay alive, Todd… or don’t!

Red Hood: I’m on it! *jumps into the fray*


*shakes head* Robins.   

When you really want to talk to your best friend about something but he’s about to jump off a skyscraper…

Superboy: Is this a bad time?

Red Robin: I’d say it’s about half past suuuuuuuuuuu —


Half past “suck”, Kon. He meant to say, “half past suck”. 

Bruce: I scolded Damian today, so according to – *reads smudged writing on his palm* — “The Robin Bylaws”, I now have to grant him three wishes.

Alfred:


Parenting. Comes easy, it does not. 


Dick drafted the original bylaws, by the way. Jason, Tim, and Damian merely perfected them.

Brainstorming with your brothers, part 2… 

Red Robin: *sighs*

Red Robin: Maybe we should brainstorm fundraising ideas that aren’t bake sales – *glares at Red Hood*

Red Robin: – or zoos where the humans are in cages and the animals come to visit. *glares at Robin* 


In which you desperately need money to have the Batmobile repaired before Batman comes back from space and finds out that y’all took it for a joyride.

“What If” with the Super Sons…

Robin: *typing on the Batcomputer*

Superboy: *whistling*

Robin: *pauses typing* -Tt-

Superboy: Hey, Damian, if you were a post-apocalyptic survivor –

Robin: I would raise goats, hoard cinnamon, and only travel at night. But, please, Kent, I have some work to do here.