source: chuck – Page 8 – incorrect-batfamily-quotes

Damian: *walks into the Manor kitchen in his Robin uniform drenched in swamp water*

Tim: Who saved you?

Damian: They did.

Tim: They saved you? Did they? Could you be any more cryptic?

Finding out that your brother’s being hunted down by mercenaries be like…

Nightwing: Jason! What are you doing here?

Red Hood: Someone needs to protect the little bird, huh?

Red Robin: Well, that’s very thoughful. Thank you very much, I guess.

Red Hood: Plus, I didn’t want to miss any gunplay. Come on!

Red Robin: *referring to Damian’s sword* Drop it, brat.

Robin: *tightening his grip* Can’t do that, Drake.

Red Hood: Guys, guys, guys, guys. Let’s just, let’s just take a minute here. Remember, we’re a family –

Red Robin and Robin: Stay in the car!

Red Hood: Technically, I still have one foot in the car –

Tim: Drop it, brat.

Damian: Can’t do that, Drake.

Jason: Guys, guys, guys, guys. Let’s just, let’s just take a minute here. Remember, we’re a family –

Tim and Damian: Stay in the car!

Jason: Technically, I still have one foot in the car.

Robin: You and what army, Todd?

Red Hood: Uh, that would be me and my fists.

Reviewing case files at the Batcave…

Robin: Credit card charges show mostly leather jackets, classic novels. Phone records indicate only one female caller in the last six months: a teammate.

Red Hood: I feel so sorry for this guy. He seems so alone.

Robin: Oh, whoops. That’s your old file, Todd.

Tim: What exactly are you doing?

Damian: I’m stretching. Getting limber.

Tim: Why are you doing that?

Damian: So I won’t pull a muscle when I break your bones.

Dami, sweetie, that’s not nice.

Jason: So, uh… Bonfire with Artemis, huh?

Dick: *grins* Just telling her stories about your Robin days. How’re things between you guys?

Jason: They’re good. Good, good, good. Solid… Why, did she say something?

Dick: No. It’s just… She’s a beautiful woman fighting crime with you. I was afraid you’d let the lines get blurred and fall for her.

Jason: *scoffs* What, me, fall for Artemis? Please.

Artemis: *enters wearing a floral dress and twirls*

Artemis: Hey, boys. So, how do I look?

Jason: Good. Yeah, yeah. Real good. Red’s not really my color, so… *mumbles* Forgot my jacket… Or salmon, or whatever that is. *walks out of trailer*

Red’s not really your color? *smirks* (That “Red Hood and the Outlaws” annual, though.)

Damian: Are you done feeling sorry for yourself?

Tim: Personally, I’d like another ten to fifteen minutes of really pathetic self-indulgence.

Damian: -Tt-

It was rhetorical, Timmy.

When your little brother reconfigures the newly installed, magnetic, handprint-activated steel doors at the Manor…

Jason: *trapped between the door and the wall*

Jason: Damian? Open the door, little buddy.

Tim: Open it, Damian.

Damian: -Tt-

Damian: *opens the outer door*

Jason: Okay. Nice, kid. Now, coud you open the one that’s currently chopping me in half?