When you finally realize that you’re officially part of the Batfamily…
Duke: I don’t think I’m really cut out for a job where you disarm a bomb, steal a classified document, and then jump off a building.
Jason: *supportively pats him on the shoulder* Well, you could have fooled me.
Duke: That’s very kind of you to say, but I’m pretty sure my girlish screams in the face of danger give me away.
Jason and Tim: *watch as Tam walks away*
Jason: *elbows Tim in the ribs and gives him a “Why didn’t you talk to her???” look*
Tim: *rubbing his chest and hissing* Of course I find her attractive! It’s just that I had a burrito earlier and I was trying to be respectful.
Commissioner Gordon: *watches as Batman grapplehooks out of view*
Commissioner Gordon: *blows out some smoke, flicks his dying cigarette away and crushes it with his shoe*
Commissioner Gordon: *clears his throat and yells into the night sky* You just hate saying goodbye like a normal person, don’t you?
Red Hood: *dramatically spray-painting the words “I died” in cursive on the sidewalk next to a group of bound criminals*
Red Robin: *waiting for him to finish so they could report back to Batman* Are you done feeling sorry for yourself?
Red Hood: Personally, I’d like another ten to fifteen minutes of really pathetic self-indulgence.
When you fall asleep during a mission briefing at the Watchtower and need to catch up…
Kid Flash: *nudges Kyle*
Green Lantern: *nudges Wally back*
Batman: *working on a case at the mainframe computer*
Kid Flash: *clears throat*
Green Lantern: Can I ask a follow-up question, Mr. Batman, Sir?
Batman: You’re about to leave through that window.
Green Lantern: I rescind my follow-up question.
Red Robin: *referring to Damian’s sword* Drop it, brat.
Robin: *tightening his grip* Can’t do that, Drake.
Red Hood: Guys, guys, guys, guys. Let’s just, let’s just take a minute here. Remember, we’re a family –
Red Robin and Robin: Stay in the car!
Red Hood: Technically, I still have one foot in the car –
Batman: I’m looking for John Constantine. Can you tell me where to find him?
Doctor Fate: What do I look like? An information desk?
Batman: Excuse me?
Doctor Fate: *rolls his eyes inside his helmet and conjures up a portal* Yes, fine, you’re excused. Oh, and don’t forget to fill in our customer comment card on your way out.
Green Lantern (Simon): *wiping sweat off his forehead as he watches Bruce walking away* Yep, Batman scares me.
Green Lantern (Hal): Well, that happens when you bottle up your feelings like that. You wake up one day and you’re a seething mass of pain.
Tam: I’m sorry I yelled at you.
Tim: It was our first fight. You know, it’s a big step if our relationship were remotely real.
When you’ve got fake-engagement blues.
Red Robin: Did Nightwing and Red Hood turn off their mics?
Robin: I did. Those two gab like little school girls on the field. It’s murder on the ears.
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