Detective Montoya: What are you doing, Red?! You just blew my cover!
Red Hood: Or did I save your life?
Montoya: Or did you compromise an investigation and piss off a police officer?!
Red Hood: I’m sensing from your tone it’s that one.
Tag: source: brooklyn nine-nine
On the way to Red Robin’s new safe house…
Steph: I can’t wait to see the inside of Tim’s safe house! I’m gonna learn everything there is to know about him.
Harper: I bet it’s really fancy. Like Wayne-Manor-fancy.
Jason: No. It’s probably just an empty, white cube with a USB port in it for him to plug his finger in when he’s on Sleep Mode.
Bruce: Tim, please keep an eye on Jason today. He’s going to say something to the wrong person and get himself arrested.
Tim: Sure. I’d love to see Jason get arrested.
Bruce: Try again.
Tim: I will stop Jason from getting arrested.
Bruce: Correct.
When your adoptive father has trust issues with your crimefighting methods…
Red Hood: *running through a dark alley*
Red Hood: *stops abruptly and catches his breath*
Red Hood: *rolls his eyes at his little brother, who’s in the Batjet hovering above him* I don’t need to be monitored all day long, brat. I’m not a toddler. This is stupid.
Robin [on the Comm Link]: I know you’re not, Todd, because toddlers would know that “stupid” is a no-no word.
Damian: Drake.
Tim: Brat. The bet ends today. Are you ready?
Damian: I was born ready.
Tim: To lose? The whole question was, “Are you ready to lose?” and you said you were born that way.
Damian: Twist my words all you want.
Tim: Okay.
Damian: I’m winning this bet.
Jason: What bet? What’re you guys talking about?
Dick: Seriously? The bet? They’ve been keeping score all year. It comes up all the time. What are you doin’ all day?
Jason: Nothin’. Why, you wanna hang out?
Red Hood: *peeks from behind a crate at a group of burly men in state-of-the-art armor guarding the warehouse entrance*
Red Hood: *whispering* How are we going to get past them without a gun fight?
Red Robin: *studying a digital blueprint of the warehouse* I’ll tell you how John McClane would do it: the vents.
Red Hood: *stuffs his revolvers back into their holsters and nods enthusiastically* Blast the A/C, they get chilly, they leave to find sweaters.
Red Robin:
Red Robin: No. We’re going to climb through them.
Red Hood: Even better! Classic use of vents.
When your adoptive father has trust issues with your crimefighting methods…
Red Hood: *running through a dark alley*
Red Hood: *stops abruptly and catches his breath*
Red Hood: *rolls his eyes at his little brother, who’s in the Batjet hovering above him* I don’t need to be monitored all day long, brat. I’m not a toddler. This is stupid.
Robin [on the Comm Link]: I know you’re not, Todd, because toddlers would know that “stupid” is a no-no word.
On the way to Red Robin’s new safe house…
Steph: I can’t wait to see the inside of Tim’s safe house! I’m gonna learn everything there is to know about him.
Harper: I bet it’s really fancy. Like Wayne-Manor-fancy.
Jason: No. It’s probably just an empty, white cube with a USB port in it for him to plug his finger in when he’s on Sleep Mode.
Tim: Anyone seen Bruce? He seemed a little down earlier.
Steph: Yeah, he let me choose the music on the way over here, which leads me to believe that he’s given up on life.
Alfred: Master Timothy, here are two pictures. One is your closet; the other is a garbage dump in Blüdhaven. Can you guess which is which?
Tim: *points at one* That one’s the dump?
Alfred: They’re both your closet.
Tim: *sheepishly* Gah, I should’ve guessed that. *to his brothers* He’s good!
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 