Damian the Teenager…
Dick: Damian, do you know why little boys belittle girls’ pigtails on playgrounds?
Damian: Because they’re so easy to grab, they’re just begging to be pulled.
Dick: Because they like the girls and that’s the only way they know how to get their attention.
Damian: *frowns* What are you saying?
Dick: All of this teasing. This elaborate date. Somewhere deep down, you like Maya. Like, like her like her.
Dick: Jason, you’re just trying to hurt me to distract you from your own internal pain.
Dick: *ruffles Jason’s hair* Also, you should use less conditioner, because this is a flat mess.
Trying to sneak past Batman…
Bruce: Can I help you, Spoiler?
Steph: Oh, Batman! I didn’t expect to see you there.
Bruce: …
Bruce: At the Batcave?
Bruce: Good solve on the Riverfront Center burglaries. Finish up the paperwork as soon as possible.
Steph: *curtsies* Your wish is my command.
Bruce: No, that was actually a command. So, my command is your command.
Harper: We work in a family full of dudes. We got to have each other’s backs, okay?
Cass: You’re saying you have my back?
Harper: Yeah, I got your back. Don’t smile. I’m still mad at you.
Cass: I thought we were having a moment.
Harper: Moment’s over. Shut up.
Hal: Quick question, Bruce. You know how we’ve been trading favors back and forth, and it’s your turn to give me one?
Bruce: None of that is true.
Hal: Yeah, I know.
Tim: I eat coffee grounds!
After patrolling with the Batfamily…
Dick: Everyone’s tired, Red Hood. They just want to go home.
Jason: Yeah, but I have to prove I’m not selfish, so I don’t care what they want.
Jason: That sounded bad.
Dick: How long were we asleep?
Damian: Just long enough for me to squeeze in a quick work out.
Damian:
So, like, three hours.
Jason [to a Gothamite thug]: You think you can just bully people, but you can’t. It’s not okay. I’m the bully around here. Ask anyone.
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