source: better off ted – Page 3 – incorrect-batfamily-quotes

Ladies of the Batfamily: *swooning over pictures of Dick in his 80s Nightwing suit*

Red Hood: *rubs his ears*

Red Hood: I’m sorry, but when I hear an undeserved compliment, it makes my ears want to throw up.

Alfred: You stole a baby, Master Bruce?

Batman: Only for a few seconds. As it turns out, just because you put a Bat symbol on something, it doesn’t mean you get to keep it.

Alfred: Yes. I think babies have to be notarized.

Red Robin: We should tell Bruce.

Red Hood: Or we don’t tell him so he doesn’t get pissed at us again.

Red Robin: I like where this is going.

Red Hood: It’s going. That’s it. It went.

Oh, please, Mr. Timothy “I Lie to Batman” Drake.

Robin: Well, I’m different than other “children”, Father. And by “different”, I mean better!

All he said was that you couldn’t drive the Batmobile, Damian.

Doing dishes at the safe house…

Jason: Did you put hydrochloric acid in this mug?

Roy: Oh, yeah. I was trying to get the stains out.

Jason: You know, soap would work, and it wouldn’t kill someone if they accidentally drank it.

Roy: But soap leaves a film.

Robin: Jon.

Superboy: Damian?

Robin: How are you?

Superboy: I’m, um, fine. Why?

Robin: I just wanted to see what small talk might look like.

Superboy: Oh, boy. Well, usually, you –

Robin: Please stop. I feel like I just wasted my day.

Mornings at the Manor (and it’s Jason’s turn to cook breakfast)…

Tim: *takes a bite* It tastes familiar.

Dick: Uhhh… Beef?

Tim: No.

Jason Chicken? I’ll take chicken.

Damian: What does it taste like, Drake?

Tim: Despair.

Dick:

Jason:

Damian:

Jason: Is it possible that it just needs salt?

What people think Batman thinks about when he’s lying down on his king-sized bed all alone in the wee hours of the morning after patrol while staring at the ceiling: JUSTICE.

What he really thinks about: How can I know so much about the bonds of chemicals yet so little about the bonds of friendship?

Nightwing: Never give up. That’s what I always tell my friends. They tell me to stop telling them, but I tell them I can’t because that would be giving up.