Roy: You mad?
Jason: Give you three guesses, Roy.
Roy: No?
Roy: … No?
Roy: … No?
Tag: source: archer
Roy: How did you know where I was?
Jason: When we first started the Outlaws, I may have… injected a tracking device into your body.
Roy: In my body?
Jason: Bro? Buddy?
Roy: No, no, now that is a breach of trust, Jason.
Jason: Do you really want to open this can of trust-breachy worms right after I just caught you and Bizarro with a dead Martian in the trunk?
Roy: I do not.
Jason: You do not.
When both your curious brother’s hands go out of commission after opening your “top secret” container…
Red Hood: How ya doin, buddy? Because dry ice is something crazy, like, negative a hundred degrees…
Red Robin: I need you to not talk to me.
Red Hood: I know, and I know you’re in a lot of pain, so just try to relax…
Red Robin: Why are you still talk- Ow!
Red Hood: *pulls out syringe from Tim’s thigh* And say hi to Sister Morphine.
Red Robin: Morphine?! Dammit, I don’t… need… That actually feels waaaay better.
Red Hood: Yeah?
Red Robin: Yeahhhh…
Red Hood: Good, then get up. You’re sitting on the beer.
Stranded in the middle of the Pacific Ocean…
Arsenal: What’re your three biggest fears?
Red Hood: Getting stuck on a boat with you three times.
Negotiating their release from Nanda Parbat…
Red Hood: We gotta get that phone, or something, I don’t know! But I don’t want Bruce talking to Ra’s!
Arsenal: Why not? He’s been coming to your rescue since you were in green spandex briefs!
Batman [on the Comm Link]: Jason, I know I may not say this very often –
Red Hood: Or ever.
Batman: Well, congratulations, you ruined it. But I’m still very proud of you.
Red Hood: Awww!
Batman: Hrrrn.
When you’re stranded in the middle of wherever and calling your family’s all you’ve got…
Red Robin: What.
Red Hood [on the Comm Link]: Timbo, hey, shut up. I need you to wire me a thousand dollars.
Red Robin: Wow.
Red Hood: Yeah.
Red Robin: No.
Red Hood: Yes!
Red Robin: No!
Red Hood: Oh, for – Then just lemme talk to Babs!
Oracle: Absolutely not. Huh? Because pick any one of an infinite number of reasons! Yeah, okay, hang on…
Spoiler: Mmmmyeah, no, I would, but Cass and I can’t really leave the mall at the moment… But I can transfer you…
Lark: No, I seriously thought you were joking. Yeah, hang on…
Robin: *sinister laughter*
Red Hood: Okay. Okay! Lemme talk to Dick!
Red Hood: Dick?! Dick, listen, I –
Nightwing: Noop.
Red Hood: – need you to –
Nightwing: Noop.
Red Hood: Stop saying “noop”!
Nightwing: Noop, Jason. Noop. And it’s gonna sound like I’m hanging up, but — *static*
Stranded in a swamp…
Red Robin: Why are you so scared of crocodiles?
Red Hood: Gee, I don’t know, Tim. Maybe deep down, I’m afraid of any apex predator that lived through the K-T extinction.
Red Robin: The…?
Red Hood: Physically unchanged for 100 million years, because it’s the perfect killing machine – a half-ton of cold-blooded fury, with a bite force of 20,000 Newtons, and stomach acid so strong it can dissolve bones and hooves. And now we’re surrounded, those snake-eyes are watching from the shadows, waiting for the night –
Nightwing: ♪ Waiting for the night! ♪
Robin: Damn it, Grayson!
Nightwing: ♪ Ooh-hoo! ♪
Red Hood: Keep your voice down!
Nightwing: Why?! Crocodiles don’t have ears!
Red Hood: They absolutely have ears, dickhead!
Intimidating Black Mask’s henchman…
*cut scenes of each of Red Hood’s weapons all over his body as he puts his clothes back on*
Henchman: *whimpers*
Red Robin: I think he gets it.
Red Hood: Just film the confessions, Red, don’t editorialize!
Red Hood: *to henchman* Do you get it?
Henchman: Yes! Please!
Red Hood: Because I swear to Batman, I will strip back down and show you all over again –
Henchman: No, I get it, I get it! You have a lotta guns –
Red Hood: And a knife, which I am going to push *mock demo* very slowly into your urethra –
Red Robin: *groans in secondhand embarrassment* Ew.
Red Hood: *covering Bizarro’s mouth* If you stay really, really quiet, I will buy you a puppy.
Red Hood: That you will probably accidentally strangle.
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