Jason: And seriously, Timbo, sorry for what I said.
Tim:
Jason:
Tim:
Jason: Then that’s where you say –
Tim: *punches Jason in the face*
Tag: source: archer
Why Jason doesn’t wake up like regular people…
Tim: *nudges a sleeping Jason to move for more space on the couch* Jason…
Jason: Wuzzat?!
Jason: Wait, wait, huh, huh? What?
Tim: You okay?
Jason: *exhales* Yeah. Sorry. For a second I – I thought I was just now coming out of a coma from when I drowned saving your life eight months ago.
Jason: *sighs*
Jason: Am I just now coming out of a coma from when I drowned saving your life eight months ago?
Tim: No.
Jason: Hmm.
Jason: Timmy, am I just now coming out of a coma from when I drowned saving your life eight months ago?
Tim: No.
Starfire: First off, you’re a complete idiot to even be in this situation.
Red Hood: No one disputes that I’m an idiot.
Arsenal [to Starfire]: I tried to stop him, Babe!
Starfire: No, you didn’t.
Arsenal: No, I didn’t.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
[in Sterling Archer’s voice] Bros before… apparent threats to national security.
Dick: Enjoying Damian’s cruelty-free vegan seafood buffet?
Wally: It’s pretty good once you get over how allergic I am to soy.
Dick: What?! Oh my gosh! Don’t eat that! *tries to grab the food*
Wally: *pushes back* Hey! I’m a consenting adult!
Closet full of Batsuits…
Bruce: Yeah, I know it’s sexy, Alfred, that’s why I made ten. Now, arrange those by color.
Alfred: These are all black.
Bruce: Oh, are they? Or are five in a dark black, and five in a slightly darker black?
Therapy session…
Black Canary [to Kid Flash]: Because when your teammates put food in the refrigerator that’s a bond of trust. Okay?
Nightwing: *dismantling power-dampening wristbands on Starfire*
Nightwing: Do you have any idea how many times I’ve had to get out of handcuffs?
Starfire: Whew! Well, thank Zal you’ve been arrested so many times.
Nightwing: *smirks* Arrested?
When your super best friend could give Saran wrap a lesson…
Batman: *ignores vibrations coming from his pocket*
Wonder Woman: How many times a day does Clark text you?
Batman: Hrrrn.
Batman: Just… 40.
When you’re stranded in the middle of wherever and calling your family’s all you’ve got…
Red Robin: What.
Red Hood [on the Comm Link]: Timbo, hey, shut up. I need you to wire me a thousand dollars.
Red Robin: Wow.
Red Hood: Yeah.
Red Robin: No.
Red Hood: Yes!
Red Robin: No!
Red Hood: Oh, for – Then just lemme talk to Babs!
Batgirl: Absolutely not. Huh? Because pick any one of an infinite number of reasons! Yeah, okay, hang on…
Spoiler: Mmmmyeah, no, I would, but Cass and I can’t really leave the mall at the moment… But I can transfer you…
The Signal: No, I seriously thought you were joking. Yeah, hang on…
Robin: *sinister laughter*
Red Hood: Okay. Okay! Lemme talk to Dick!
Red Hood: Dick?! Dick, listen, I –
Nightwing: Noop.
Red Hood: – need you to –
Nightwing: Noop.
Red Hood: Stop saying “noop”!
Nightwing: Noop, Jason. Noop. And it’s gonna sound like I’m hanging up, but — *static*
Running away from Bane…
Nightwing: Go, go, go –
Red Hood: *grabs his collar and pulls him back to the ground then runs away*
Nightwing: AHHH! Are you really that selfish?!
Red Hood: Apparently!
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 