Infiltrating a top secret government facility…
Red Robin: What’s taking so long?!
Red Hood: Couple things. One, I didn’t invent whatever this door’s made of, which is apparently some alloy of adamantium and mithril. And two, not really liking your tone!
Investigating missing Wayne Tech money (that Jason was accused of spending)…
Dick: Yep, see here? Jack from HR just stole 50,000 from Jason’s acount. Must have been doing it all along.
Jason: Apology accepted. Ass douche.
Dick: Hey!
Jason: What?
Damian: *points a katana at Jason* Call him that again.
Jason: Make me!
Tim: What?
Jason: What? Bruce, do you see this? This is a hostile work environment!
Tim: I hate all of you so much.
Damian: No one cares, Drake. You’re only here to round out the numbers.
Roy: How did you know where I was?
Jason: When we first started the Outlaws, I may have… injected a tracking device into your body.
Roy: In my body?
Jason: Bro? Buddy?
Roy: No, no, now that is a breach of trust, Jason.
Jason: Do you really want to open this can of trust-breachy worms right after I just caught you and Bizarro with a dead Martian in the trunk?
Roy: I do not.
Jason: You do not.
Thug: You will never make it to the helicopter. My men will cut you down like dogs!
Red Hood: Thanks, Human Shield.
About to hijack an enemy plane to return to Gotham City…
Dick: Tim’s unconscious. Who’s gonna fly it?
Jason: Don’t – Why would you worry about that before you need to?
Dick: Wha –
Jason: Why clog your brain with a bunch of hypothetical maybe-what-if bullshit?
Dick: Because –
Jason: Shut up! Because this is what we’re doing.
In the middle of a jungle mission. Both of Tim’s legs are broken.
Damian: Well, we definitely can’t leave Drake!
Jason: We have to. Tim, I’m sorry –
Tim: No, you’re not.
Jason: I am, actually, which whatever, but –
Damian: *cocks and aims a gun at Jason* We are not leaving Drake!
Jason: What do you even think you’re doing?
Damian: I AM TAKING COMMAND!
Jason and Tim: *look at each other*
Jason and Tim: *laugh hysterically*
Jason: Oh my goodness! *wipes tears* Okay. Thanks, little D, I think we needed that.
Tim: We did. We really did.
In the middle of a jungle mission and both of Tim’s legs are broken…
Robin: Well, we definitely can’t leave Drake!
Red Hood: We have to. Tim, I’m sorry –
Red Robin: No, you’re not.
Red Hood: I am, actually, which whatever, but –
Robin: *cocks and aims one of Jason’s guns at him* We are not leaving Drake!
Red Hood: What do you even think you’re doing?
Robin: I AM TAKING COMMAND!
Red Hood and Red Robin: *look at each other*
Red Hood and Red Robin: *laugh hysterically*
Red Hood: Oh my goodness! *wiping tears from his eyes* Okay. Thanks, little D. I think we needed that.
Red Robin: *clutching his belly and sighing blissfully* We did. We really did.
Tim: I’m actually an excellent hacker –
Jason: And I’m excellent in the field, so –
Tim: Maybe at Batman, Inc., but on Batman, Inc. missions you had big dossiers with all the information you could possibly need.
Jason: Yeah, but I never read them.
Mission in the jungle. Red Robin’s bewildered. Robin’s pissed.
Red Hood: … because nobody made you two come here! I didn’t put a gun to your heads –
* Flashback to Jason holding two guns and entering Tim and Damian’s bedroom at the Manor *
Red Hood: – I mean, not literally to your heads.
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