Negotiating their release from Nanda Parbat…
Red Hood: We gotta get that phone, or something, I don’t know! But I don’t want Bruce talking to Ra’s!
Arsenal: Why not? He’s been coming to your rescue since you were in green spandex briefs!
Tag: source: archer
When a mission goes awry and your best friend tries to explain what happened…
Red Hood: So, guess what I’m in.
Arsenal: … No mood?
Red Hood: Winner winner, chicken dinner.
Red Hood, after being extracted by Green Lantern from a remote island as per Batman’s orders…
Jason: Well?! Being a vigilante makes you crazy! I mean what kind of job is that, where you get murdered and have to relive it over and over?! Hello, stress! Don’t even get me started on Bruce, I mean he –
Guy: He can be a steel-clad douchebag, I know. Why do you think I left the League?
Jason: Wh-? You were in the Justice League?!
Guy: Briefly, way back. Didn’t work out, because, ya know, your father…
Jason: Was impossible to please, right?
Guy: If you only knew…
Jason: What?
Guy: … how much your dad loves you! You would at least have the heart to go tell him you’re quitting in person.
Jason: Eesh. Rather get shot with a flare…
After being infected with Scarecrow’s fear toxin…
Red Hood [on the Comm Link with Batman and Alfred]: I didn’t run away from home! I’m a grown man! Whose 15-year-old self was murdered in front of his very eyes! So excuse me for needing some time to grieve!
Stranded in the middle of the Pacific Ocean…
Arsenal: What’re your three biggest fears?
Red Hood: Getting stuck on a boat with you three times.
When both your curious brother’s hands go out of commission after opening your “top secret” container…
Red Hood: How ya doin, buddy? Because dry ice is something crazy, like, negative a hundred degrees…
Red Robin: I need you to not talk to me.
Red Hood: I know, and I know you’re in a lot of pain, so just try to relax…
Red Robin: Why are you still talk- Ow!
Red Hood: *pulls out syringe from Tim’s thigh* And say hi to Sister Morphine.
Red Robin: Morphine?! Dammit, I don’t… need… That actually feels waaaay better.
Red Hood: Yeah?
Red Robin: Yeahhhh…
Red Hood: Good, then get up. You’re sitting on the beer.
Jason: And how the heck did you find me?
Bruce: I didn’t. The Justice League did.
Jason: Oh, and how are your new overlords?
Bruce: Oh, for the – They’re not – Look, think of it as more of a merger.
Jason: Ha!
Bruce: *while adding a Justice League sticker on the Batmobile windshield* Organizations change. They evolve. They grow. Unlike some people I know.
Roy: How do you keep track of all these lies?
Jason: Practice, Roy. Lying is like 95% of what I do.
Roy: In your job.
Jason: Sure.
Bomb diffusal…
Robin [on the Comm Link]: What’s going on?
Superboy: The timer sped up!
Robin: What? Did you cut the green one?
Kid Flash: Yes. Roger. Steven. Whoever!
Robin: What were the last two letters?
Kid Flash: B as in Butthole!
Superboy: Dick, what do we do here?
Kid Flash: And M as in Mancy.
Robin: What?
Supeboy: M as in what?
Kid Flash: Mancy. What did you think I said?
Robin: Nancy! You idiot!
Superboy: Dick, tell me what to do!
Robin: So, do ya’ll have parachutes?
Superboy: No!
Robin: Well that would be, you know, problem solved.
Superboy: Dick!
Robin: I don’t know. Push it off with your big-ass hands! Good luck, dude.
Thug: You idiot! You shot me!
Red Hood: First of all, if I shot you, you’d know it!
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