incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Sometime during Nightwing’s “Brothers in Blood” story arc…

BPD Police Officer: Excuse me, I am effecting an arrest!

Red Hood: Great. While you’re at it, arrest him.

Officer: Who?

Nightwing: *angrily screaming at Red Hood while jumping out of an eighth-story window*

Red Hood: *smirks* If for nothing else, that outfit.

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

When you’re trying to get work done but your sons decide that the Batcave is the ideal place for a squabble…

Jason: Well, what’s the word for you, Tim? You freaked out when I said “replacement”!

Tim: Imagine that!

Jason: You imagine it!

Bruce: *slams his fist on the Batcomputer*

Bruce: Both of you! Imagine. Shutting. Up.

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Intimidating Black Mask’s henchman…

*cut scenes of each of Red Hood’s weapons all over his body as he puts his clothes back on*

Henchman: *whimpers*

Red Robin: I think he gets it.

Red Hood: Just film the confessions, Red, don’t editorialize!

Red Hood: *to henchman* Do you get it?

Henchman: Yes! Please!

Red Hood: Because I swear to Batman, I will strip back down and show you all over again –

Henchman: No, I get it, I get it! You have a lotta guns –

Red Hood: And a knife, which I am going to push *mock demo* very slowly into your urethra –

Red Robin: *groans in secondhand embarrassment* Ew.

a-wayne-at-heart:

The Batboys, getting off a plane, hands up in surrender, at gunpoint by the Air Force…

Dick: Don’t shoot!

Jason: We’re coming out, don’t shoot!

Air Force: *shouting at them to drop their weapons*

Tim: *cursing under his breath*

Jason: Do not shoot! Guys, it’s okay, I – Q clearance! I’ve got Q clearance!

Damian: Seriously, is that even a real thing?

Colonel: Q clearance? Let’s see about that. What’s your authentication phrase?

Jason: Sweet, dash, 44, tender, dash, 9, hot, dash, juicy. Porkchops.

Tim and Damian: *glaring*

Jason: *shrugs* I didn’t pick it.