How Red Robin survives gunshots…
Jason: Timbo, you wear Kevlar every single time we go to Coast City.
Tim: Because every time you shoot me.
Jason: Whoa, whoa, whoa, not every time. Hm, like, three out of four, tops.
Jason: *ruffles Tim’s hair* You big baby.
Tag: source: archer
Red Hood: Oh, come on, how long are you guys gonna stay mad at me?
Red Robin: What, for getting us all arrested for smuggling weapons into Blüdhaven?
Robin: Probably the rest of our damn lives.
Stranded in a swamp…
Red Robin: Why are you so scared of crocodiles?
Red Hood: Gee, I don’t know, Tim. Maybe deep down, I’m afraid of any apex predator that lived through the K-T extinction.
Red Robin: The…?
Red Hood: Physically unchanged for 100 million years, because it’s the perfect killing machine – a half-ton of cold-blooded fury, with a bite force of 20,000 Newtons, and stomach acid so strong it can dissolve bones and hooves. And now we’re surrounded, those snake-eyes are watching from the shadows, waiting for the night –
Nightwing: ♪ Waiting for the night! ♪
Robin: Damn it, Grayson!
Nightwing: ♪ Ooh-hoo! ♪
Red Hood: Keep your voice down!
Nightwing: Why?! Crocodiles don’t have ears!
Red Hood: They absolutely have ears, dickhead!
On an overloaded plane over the Atlantic Ocean…
Nightwing: Hello? Time’s a bit of a factor here!
Red Hood: Tim, for the love of bats, man, jump!
Red Robin: Just throw out the kryptonite!
Red Hood: What?! No! I’m not telling Bruce I lost the original hundred pounds of –
Nightwing and Red Robin: Kilos!
Red Hood: Whatever unit of measurement – of kryptonite! Plus, all this kryptonite! Do you have any idea how pissed he’d be?
Nightwing: Well, the alternative is a belly-landing in a swamp filled with alligators!
Red Hood: No. No, no, no. No. What if, um…
Red Robin: Jason! Alligators or Bruce!
Red Hood: What’s the difference?! They’re both cold-blooded prehistoric monsters!
The Batboys discussing how to save Batman, who’s being held captive by Bane…
Red Hood: Don’t worry about me, I’m –
Nightwing: – not going on another stupid rampage!
Red Hood: Well, maybe a limited rampage.
Nightwing: No!
Red Hood: Modified limited rampage?
Red Robin: *runs hand through face in frustration* Jason.
Robin: *strapping on a variety of weapons and explosives on his body*
Robin: Don’t worry about our methods.
Red Robin: Oh, so suddenly you don’t have a death wish?
Red Hood: Timmy, I’ve never had a deathwish. It’s just that I don’t believe that I personally even can die. Again.
When your heavily sleep-deprived, case-obssessed brother hasn’t even changed his clothes in three days…
Jason: *loudly slurping a milkshake*
Tim: *pauses from typing on the Batcomputer*
Jason: *burps loudly*
Tim: *grits teeth* You know what I don’t have time for?
Jason: *wipes his mouth sloppily with the back of his hand* Shopping for clothes?
At a Batfamily mission briefing…
Red Robin [about a grounded Robin]: Why is he even in this briefing? He’s not allowed to go on missions!
Batman: Because he always stows away somehow.
When you wake up strapped to the back of your brother’s motorcycle after being infected by Scarecrow’s fear toxin…
Red Robin: Just curious. What happened between your safe house and right now?
Red Robin: Well, you were hysterical, Tim, so I thought the best thing to do would be to inject you with a tranquilizer, drive you to a private air field, put you on a stolen plane, fly you overnight to Gateway City, and then… that brings us to now.
When Red Hood and Arsenal were approached by the government regarding Task Force X…
Amanda: The information you’re about to hear is top secret. Unauthorized publication or leaking of this information would be an act of high treason, for which you would be tried and convicted by a secret military tribunal and summarily executed.
Amanda: So, no, Mr. Harper, I don’t think a selfie would be appropriate.
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