Bomb diffusal…
Robin [on the Comm Link]: What’s going on?
Superboy: The timer sped up!
Robin: What? Did you cut the green wire?
Kid Flash: Yes! Roger! Steven! Whoever!
Robin: What were the last two letters?
Kid Flash: B as in Butthole!
Superboy: Dick, what do we do here?
Kid Flash: And M as in Mancy!
Robin: What?
Supeboy: M as in what?
Kid Flash: Mancy. What did you think I said?
Robin: “Nancy”! You idiot!
Superboy: Dick, tell me what to do!
Robin: So, do ya’ll have parachutes?
Superboy: No!
Robin: Well, that would’ve been, you know, problem solved.
Superboy: Dick!
Robin: I don’t know. Push it off with your big-ass hands. Good luck, dudes.
Tag: source: archer
Starfire: First off, you’re a complete idiot to even be in this situation.
Red Hood: No one disputes that I’m an idiot.
Arsenal [to Starfire]: I tried to stop him, Babe!
Starfire: No, you didn’t.
Arsenal: No, I didn’t.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
[in Sterling Archer’s voice] Bros before… apparent threats to national security.
When your super best friend could give Saran wrap a lesson…
Batman: *ignores vibrations coming from his pocket*
Wonder Woman: How many times a day does Clark text you?
Batman: Hrrrn.
Batman: Just… 40.
Dick: And it’s not broadening Damian’s horizons. Trust me, Bruce’s idea of horizon broadening is a lot of fights walking home from a lot of jazz tap lessons.
Nightwing: *watches as Jason meticulously tucks his shirt into his cargo pants* When would you use an underwear gun?
Red Hood: Hopefully never.
In the Batcave, an unconscious and injured Dick on the gurney…
Jason: Tim, better pill up. You’re assisting Alfred with the surgery.
Tim: Why me?
Jason: You’re good at math.
Tim: How’s that supposed to help?
Jason: Can’t hurt.
Sorting stacks of old case files at the Batcave…
Dick: You know I think we’re making some real progress.
Tim: Where, in opposite world? We’re never gonna finish all this!
Damian: We could if certain people would help. -Tt-
Jason: *standing behind stacks of cardboard boxes* I’m sorry, are you addressing me? Because your authority is not recognized in Fort Kickass.
Dick Grayson capturing a criminal…
Robin/Nightwing: Sorry in advance.
Criminal: Ow!!! That hurts, like, insanely bad!
Robin/Nightwing: That’s why I said orry in advance.
Closet full of Batsuits…
Bruce: Yeah, I know it’s sexy, Alfred, that’s why I made ten. Now, arrange those by color.
Alfred: These are all black.
Bruce: Oh, are they? Or are five in a dark black, and five in a slightly darker black?
Bomb diffusal…
Robin [on the Comm Link]: What’s going on?
Superboy: The timer sped up!
Robin: What? Did you cut the green wire?
Kid Flash: Yes! Roger! Steven! Whoever!
Robin: What were the last two letters?
Kid Flash: B as in Butthole!
Superboy: Dick, what do we do here?
Kid Flash: And M as in Mancy!
Robin: What?
Supeboy: M as in what?
Kid Flash: Mancy. What did you think I said?
Robin: “Nancy”! You idiot!
Superboy: Dick, tell me what to do!
Robin: So, do ya’ll have parachutes?
Superboy: No!
Robin: Well, that would’ve been, you know, problem solved.
Superboy: Dick!
Robin: I don’t know. Push it off with your big-ass hands. Good luck, dudes.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 