Falling out with your best friend be like…
Jason: You can tell me, y’know. We never talked about it. What did Roy say about me?
Dick: It’s nothing too terrible…
Jason: You can tell me.
Dick: It wasn’t that bad…
Jason: Just be honest.
Dick:
Dick: He once called you an “ass***e” forty-six times in one sitting.
Jason: Wow.
Dick: Yeah, the people at the next table complained.
Tag: roy harper
Why you don’t try to psychoanalyze your best friend…
Roy: What’re you afraid of, Jaybird?
Jason: I’m afraid of what I’m gonna do to you if you don’t shut up.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
And don’t tell me that Roy didn’t ask this while lying belly down on Jason’s bed with his chin propped up by both hands and his bent legs crisscrossing in the air.
Preparing to jump a gang of mobsters be like…
Red Hood: Okay. On three. One. Two –
Arsenal: Why don’t we just go on two?
Red Hood: Why two?
Arsenal: Because it’s faster.
Red Hood: You know, I could’ve counted to three, like, four times without all this “two” talk!
Arsenal: All right, but in the future…
Red Hood: Okay. One. Two –
Arsenal: So are we going on two?
On a mission in Gotham City be like…
Arsenal: I hate this town, Jaybird! I hate this town!
Red Hood: It’s understandable. You are missing a piece of your scalp.
Jason being Extra be like…
Roy: Jaybird, I got a present for you. *carries a basket full of lotion bottles*
Jason: I don’t like lotion. I like my hands to be cracked and calloused like a railway worker.
Roy: I know. I filled the bottles with fake blood, vinegar, and mud.
Jason: *smiles* Really? Thanks!
Negotiating their release from Nanda Parbat…
Red Hood: We gotta get that phone, or something, I don’t know! But I don’t want Bruce talking to Ra’s!
Arsenal: Why not? He’s been coming to your rescue since you were in green spandex briefs!
Arsenal: Do you ever think maybe we’re kinda not always a hundred percent of the time doing the right thing?
Red Hood: Do you ever shut up and give that man-bear twenty-five grand so you and I can split the other seventy?
Undercover mission at a restaurant…
Jason: Let’s go Ti – Thomas, c’mon! Chop, chop.
Tim: You’re the one who dropped it! Why do I have to clean it up?
Jason: Because you’re the garçon de cuisine, which means kitchen boy, whereas I am the sous chef, which means shut your face and mop up the damn yogurt.
Tim: And why do you get to be sous chef?
* Flashback to Jason and Roy eating out in France while staking out a tech criminal during their Red Hood/Arsenal days *
Jason: Because I have fine dining experience!
Roy: Today is the day, Jaybird.
Jason: What? You move out?
Roy: No, who’s gonna do your laundry?
Imagine:
Red Hood: It’s times like these that I really wish I’d listened to what Batman told me.
Arsenal: Why? What did he tell you?
Red Hood: I don’t know. I didn’t listen.
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