Red Hood: *taps his foot impatiently while he checks his watch for the nth time* Come on, come on, come on. Make the drop, you guys.
Red Hood: *sighs in frustration as he disassembles and reassembles his pistol in 15 seconds flat for the nth time* Let’s get it over with.
Red Hood: *peeks from behind a stack of crates for the nth time* I don’t have all day. I promised Alfred I’d make it to dinner on time –
Red Hood: *stares at his ringing phone with narrowed eyes*
Red Hood: *picks it up* Roman.
Black Mask [on the phone]: *chuckling* Jason, my dear boy! How’ve you been? You look healthy. Very much alive, even.
Red Hood: *spots the tiny, hidden camera attached to a steel beam above him (How in the world did he miss that?) andcocks both his guns* Where are your men, ugly face?
Black Mask: Don’t you speak to me that way, you little rat! Before I make you a very D-E-A-… Hm. Forget I said that.
Red Hood: What?
Black Mask: The point is you’ve wasted your time waiting for nothing. So get lost!
Red Hood: Don’t lie to me! I’ve been tracking your every move for weeks and this warehouse reeks of your poisonous, criminal stench –
Black Mask: *lets out a drawn-out sigh* Listen, just go home, kid. The carnage you were looking forward to today? Newsflash: It ain’t happening!
Red Hood: You don’t tell me what to do, you sick son of a –
Black Mask: I tell you what: You go home tonight – and I mean home – I’ll forward you the coordinates of every illegal shipment to and from Janus Cosmetics within a hundred mile radius. You can blow it all up for all I care. Deal?
Red Hood: And if you don’t? If you lie to me?
Black Mask: *growling* You’ll find them anyway, you always do!
Red Hood: Why?
Black Mask: Hm?
Red Hood:Why?
Black Mask: *plays a vinyl record in the background, sounding more relaxed* Because there are better days to dance our tango, Jason… Da-rum, da-rum, da-rum da-ra…
Red Hood: …
Red Hood: Did Batman put you up to this?
Black Mask: *crumpling a piece of paper near the phone speaker* You’re breaking up! *click*
>>> *** <<<
[Safe house, undisclosed location, 1815 H]
Red Hood: *fumbling as he enters the wrong passcode to the steel door for the third time in a row* Crap! Crap! Crap! I’m gonna be late!
Lock: Password incorrect. Initializing Code Red Protocol in three, two, o–
Red Hood: Override the stupid passcode! Activate voice recognition!
Lock: Activating voice recognition –
Red Hood: The Handsome Robin! The Handsome Robin!
Lock: Welcome, Jason Todd. Opening door n–
Red Hood: Hello, Safe House! *squeezes himself in the still-narrow space, then trips over his weapons, armor, and garments as he hurriedly strips himself of them en route to the bathroom*
Red Hood: *abruptly stops in his tracks* What the fuuhhh…
Red Hood: *watches as bubbly, green fluid oozes out of his bathtub*
Red Hood: *picks up the rolled piece of parchment beside his Batshampoo, unties the ribbon around it, and spreads it open*
Note: “In case you needed more. [signed] The Demon’s Head”
>>> *** <<<
[Crime Alley, 1903 H]
Red Hood: *groans as he realizes that his motorcycle just ran out of fuel*Seriously?
Harley Quinn: *rollerblading into view* Hey, Baby J! Need a lift? *holds up an extra pair of roller blades*
Red Hood: Yeahhhh no.
Harley Quinn: Come on! It’ll be fun! And I promise I won’t bite cha. *winks*
Red Hood: Oh, what the heck. *grabs the roller blades* So you really just carry around an extra pair of blades, huh? *proceeds to put his on*
Harley Quinn: Nope! But I’ve had this with me for a while now. *takes out a tiny package from the pocket of her shorts and hands it to Jason*
Red Hood: *examines it* Hm.
Harley Quinn: It ain’t poisoned or nothin’! Pinky swear! *holds out her pinky*
Red Hood: *frowning* What is it?
Harley Quinn: *claps her hands excitedly* Open it! Open it!
Red Hood: *gingerly unfolds the bubble gum wrapper and holds up its minuscule content* … A tiny crowbar?
Harley Quinn: Yes! You can open envelopes with it! Stir coffee with it! Hit tiny Mistah J’s on the noggin’ with it –
Red Hood: *chuckles and puts the gift in his jacket pocket* Okay, okay, I get it. Thanks, I guess.
Harley Quinn: *holds her hand out to Jason* Come on! You’re gonna be late! Alfie ain’t gonna be happy!
Red Hood: *taps his foot impatiently while he checks his watch for the nth time* Come on, come on, come on. Make the drop, you guys.
Red Hood: *sighs in frustration as he disassembles and reassembles his pistol in 15 seconds flat for the nth time* Let’s get it over with.
Red Hood: *peeks from behind a stack of crates for the nth time* I don’t have all day. I promised Alfred I’d make it to dinner on time –
Red Hood: *stares at his ringing phone with narrowed eyes*
Red Hood: *picks it up* Roman.
Black Mask [on the phone]: *chuckling* Jason, my dear boy! How’ve you been? You look healthy. Very much alive, even.
Red Hood: *spots the tiny, hidden camera attached to a steel beam above him (How in the world did he miss that?) andcocks both his guns* Where are your men, ugly face?
Black Mask: Don’t you speak to me that way, you little rat! Before I make you a very D-E-A-… Hm. Forget I said that.
Red Hood: What?
Black Mask: The point is you’ve wasted your time waiting for nothing. So get lost!
Red Hood: Don’t lie to me! I’ve been tracking your every move for weeks and this warehouse reeks of your poisonous, criminal stench –
Black Mask: *lets out a drawn-out sigh* Listen, just go home, kid. The carnage you were looking forward to today? Newsflash: It ain’t happening!
Red Hood: You don’t tell me what to do, you sick son of a –
Black Mask: I tell you what: You go home tonight – and I mean home – I’ll forward you the coordinates of every illegal shipment to and from Janus Cosmetics within a hundred mile radius. You can blow it all up for all I care. Deal?
Red Hood: And if you don’t? If you lie to me?
Black Mask: *growling* You’ll find them anyway, you always do!
Red Hood: Why?
Black Mask: Hm?
Red Hood:Why?
Black Mask: *plays a vinyl record in the background, sounding more relaxed* Because there are better days to dance our tango, Jason… Da-rum, da-rum, da-rum da-ra…
Red Hood: …
Red Hood: Did Batman put you up to this?
Black Mask: *crumpling a piece of paper near the phone speaker* You’re breaking up! *click*
>>> *** <<<
[Safe house, undisclosed location, 1815 H]
Red Hood: *fumbling as he enters the wrong passcode to the steel door for the third time in a row* Crap! Crap! Crap! I’m gonna be late!
Lock: Password incorrect. Initializing Code Red Protocol in three, two, o–
Red Hood: Override the stupid passcode! Activate voice recognition!
Lock: Activating voice recognition –
Red Hood: The Handsome Robin! The Handsome Robin!
Lock: Welcome, Jason Todd. Opening door n–
Red Hood: Hello, Safe House! *squeezes himself in the still-narrow space, then trips over his weapons, armor, and garments as he hurriedly strips himself of them en route to the bathroom*
Red Hood: *abruptly stops in his tracks* What the fuuhhh…
Red Hood: *watches as bubbly, green fluid oozes out of his bathtub*
Red Hood: *picks up the rolled piece of parchment beside his Batshampoo, unties the ribbon around it, and spreads it open*
Note: “In case you needed more. [signed] The Demon’s Head”
>>> *** <<<
[Crime Alley, 1903 H]
Red Hood: *groans as he realizes that his motorcycle just ran out of fuel*Seriously?
Harley Quinn: *rollerblading into view* Hey, Baby J! Need a lift? *holds up an extra pair of roller blades*
Red Hood: Yeahhhh no.
Harley Quinn: Come on! It’ll be fun! And I promise I won’t bite cha. *winks*
Red Hood: Oh, what the heck. *grabs the roller blades* So you really just carry around an extra pair of blades, huh? *proceeds to put his on*
Harley Quinn: Nope! But I’ve had this with me for a while now. *takes out a tiny package from the pocket of her shorts and hands it to Jason*
Red Hood: *examines it* Hm.
Harley Quinn: It ain’t poisoned or nothin’! Pinky swear! *holds out her pinky*
Red Hood: *frowning* What is it?
Harley Quinn: *claps her hands excitedly* Open it! Open it!
Red Hood: *gingerly unfolds the bubble gum wrapper and holds up its minuscule content* … A tiny crowbar?
Harley Quinn: Yes! You can open envelopes with it! Stir coffee with it! Hit tiny Mistah J’s on the noggin’ with it –
Red Hood: *chuckles and puts the gift in his jacket pocket* Okay, okay, I get it. Thanks, I guess.
Harley Quinn: *holds her hand out to Jason* Come on! You’re gonna be late! Alfie ain’t gonna be happy!
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 