The Robins as…

GYM RATS

DICK:

• Often mistaken for the instructor. That’s understandable – He’ll help anyone who looks like they’re having a tough time.
• He’s… distracting. For obvious reasons.
• But, actually, it’s his positive energy that’ll make you keep coming back to finish the grueling regimen.
• Will sometimes come in wearing a very loud outfit that screams “80s” because he knows that it amuses some people, then backs it up with a few Flying Grayson-esque stunts. 

JASON:

• The one that other gym rats steer clear of.
• He’s basically a shadow in a dark corner of the gym pumping 200 lb of iron with one arm while smoking a cigarette with the other.
• What’s with the bright green liquid in his blood-stained water bottle?
• As “mythical” as he seems, he’s actually adorably polite to the employees. (They swear they’ve caught him wink at them.)

TIM:

• The one wearing a Bluetooth headset and a watch monitoring all his vital signs.
• Pre-installed surveillance cameras that feed information directly into his laptop, which he’s constantly checking out as he works out. 
• The other board members of Wayne Enterprises have no idea that he’s actually on the treadmill while on an online conference with them. (Pretty fit, Timmy!)
• *referring to the stuff in his water bottle* “Oh, this? It’s, um, pure liquid caffeine.”

DAMIAN:

• “Whose kid is this?” a staff member announced, right before his finger broke “inexplicably”. (It never happened again.)
• If people steer clear of Jason, they’d rather not come in at all when they know it’s this little guy’s day.
• You know that thing when the person next to you’s so condescending that he can’t help but smirk loudly and mutter “weak” every time he sees you break a sweat, but you can’t really do anything about it because he’ll growl at you (and who knows what else)? Yeah.
• Besides, it’s uncomfortable every time his cat (Pennyworth, is it?) sits on your face while you’re trying to bench-press.

The Robins as…

BABYSITTERS

(Let’s face it: they all need Alfred. But left to their own devices…)

Dick:

• It comes naturally to him, a perk of being a father (even if he isn’t on this Earth yet) and big brother figure to people within and outside of the Batfamily.
• Unashamedly reads maternity books out of curiosity.
• Cooing, babbling, silly animal sounds and corny jokes. He’ll be utterly annoying to grown-ups, but absolutely delightful to anyone below the age of 8.
• Gentle disciplinarian.

Jason:

• Protective. Even from himself. None of his weapons within a one mile radius (unless locked up in a Wayne Tech-grade safe).
• Doesn’t mind being vulnerable around young’uns and will indulge their playtime fantasies. (*to toddler* “I’m, um… *looks around to make sure that no one else is around* Red Robin Hood.” But Alfred is around. He always is.)
• Reluctantly pulls out Shakespeare from a shelf when asked by a toddler, “Will you wead me a bedtime stowy?”

Tim:

• Takes baby-proofing to another level. (He prefers that things be on autopilot because he’s a busy, busy vigilante.)
• But once in a while he can’t help himself and goes into Kid Mode. (Supervillain who?)
• Sneaks kids into the Batcave for a “field trip” when Bruce isn’t around (and Bruce pretends he doesn’t know).
• Actually enjoys helping with homework (even if he’s lazy to do his own).

Damian:

• Hates it… Then pretends to hate it… Then actually finds that it pleases him.
• Because he likes having a protegé (“Master Damian, he is four!” But he doesn’t understand why that matters since he canonically started training around that age.)
• Is secretly fascinated by Lego and other “children’s toys” and somewhat surprised that swords and encyclopedias don’t fall into the same category.

The Robins as…

GROCERY SHOPPERS (sent by Alfred)

Dick:

• Most likely to get stared at (for obvious reasons)
• Keeps calling Alfred to report on available varieties for each item on the list and bargains for his or his siblings’ favorite snacks
• Sings along or dances to the jingle while waiting in line at the cashier

Jason:

• Most likely to stick to the grocery list
• But his plan to “just get this over with” is usually derailed by a senior citizen struggling to put a heavy sack into a cart or a little kid trying to reach a toy on a high shelf
• Comes home to the Manor blushing deeply and with lipstick stains from a grateful old lady

Tim:

• Most likely to spend the whole day in the grocery
• Because (1) he’s still groggy from pulling an all-nighter for a case and can’t mentally process Alfred’s list, or (2) he can’t help but research the toxicity profile of everything on it, which somehow leads him to cross-reference them with recent sightings of… (*looks up from his phone* “Oh, Alfred! Why are you here? Where am I?”)

Damian:

• Most likely to sulk the entire time (“You do not send a prince to do a servant’s job, Pennyworth!”)… that is, until he discovers the pet section
• Also most likely to be sent back to return everything that he bought and pick up the things that were actually on the list

The Robins as…

PET OWNERS

DICK:

• Lots of jogging at the beach, cuddles on the bed and feeding from the table
• Will leave pet with Damian in spite of… [see: Damian, 2nd item]

JASON:

• Lots of “playdates” with Bizarro’s Pup-Pup
• Has disinfectants and anti-odor sprays all over his pristine safe house

TIM:

• Lots of incidents involving accidentally pouring coffee beans into dishes or aquariums
• World’s Greatest Trainer (Them: “Did you just say that it can… solve crimes?” Him: *grins smugly*)

DAMIAN:

• Lots. Of. Pets. (We all know this.)
• Cannot be trusted to babysit due to risk of not getting one’s pet back
• Impeccable grooming and clothes that match his

The Robins as…

HOSPITAL PATIENTS:

Dick: 

• “Oh, those glass shards on my back? I get them all the time. No biggie. Hey, do you guys serve cereal?”
• The staff love checking him ou – er, checking up on him.
• Regales them with stories of past injuries, which none of them can believe are even possible (”Then how are you still alive?”)

Jason

• Fake ID (since, you know, legally dead and all)
• Wheeled into the hospital room by 5 AM, out through the window in a hospital gown and onto a waiting motorcycle by 5:15 AM  

Tim: 

• Double-checks every diagnosis and every medication and cross-references them with similar cases in the city (and occasionally schools whomever is unfortunate enough to check up on him)
• Who knows how pure liquid caffeine got injected into his IV bottle?

Damian:

• “You call this food? My father will buy this place!”
• Physical examination? You might as well put your hand inside a Tasmanian devil’s tunnel.