bruce wayne: play? in this weather? with all that blue sky and sunshine?
Bruce: *still in his Batman suit, having just arrived from patrol, hissing as Alfred draws the kitchen curtains to let the sunshine in* Are you sure you’re up for it, son?
Damian: Jon’s waiting for me outside. He’s flying me to Metropolis.
Bruce: *fumbling with his utility belt* Here, bring some of this suncreen that just came out of R&D. There’s something about the sunshine in that place, might explain why Clark’s getting stronger. While you’re there, perhaps you could collect some solar energy –
Damian: *slamming the door as he exits the Manor* Byyyye, Father!
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
This reminds me of that spread in a Superman/Batman issue where Clark takes over for Bruce in Gotham while the latter is conducting an investigation in Metropolis and we’re given an insight into what they really think of each other’s city. And it’s almost as if Batman is horrified by how bright and smog-free Metropolis is. I love that spread.
A Guide By Tim Drake Wayne PhD (Department of Family Dysfunction)
1. Sedate the wild Damian.
The wild Damian, or Demonicus damiansis, can often be found in one of two places – in his chambers, where he can be found painting, meditating, or grooming his animals, or in the Cave, pestering his progenitor.
2. Approach the wild Damian
This is best done with food. The creature is most attracted to hummus and pita bread, but is also partial to peanuts.
3. Avoid the Mother-Brother (Lovebugis dickus)
It should be noted that the Damian is a juvenile, and is thus under the protection of a most hysterical mother-brother amalgamation. This creature is called Dick Grayson, and should be carefully dealt with.
4. Distract the Mother-Brother
The Dick Grayson ceature can be drawn away with mention of another sibling-creature, notably, the Jaybird littlewingus.
5. Lure the Wild Damian
Now alone, it is easy to lure the wild Damian with the tantalizing hummus and pita meal. For maximum trust, claim that the meal was sent by the grandfather – Alfredus nobilis.
6. Act Quickly!
Now spring your trap! Quickly pounce upon and tie the Damian up, and hang him upside down from the coat rack.
Escape quickly, lest the Dick Grayson returns, for he is sure to be vexed.
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