incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Mornings at the Batcave…

Tim: *downing a cup of espresso* Okay, we all know why we’re here, right?

Dick: *still in just boxer shorts, yawning and shaking his head*

Jason: *groans* No. Why?

Tim: To fight Damian, the bully. That tiny tween has been tormenting all of us for years, and I for one am sick of it! I can’t promise you victory. I can’t promise you good times. But the one thing I do know –

Dick and Jason: *head back to the Manor*

Tim: Whoa! Whoa! I promise you victory! I promise you good times!

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Tim: *turns on his boombox and tunes it to an 80s pop music station*

Tim: *gets up on the table and starts dancing the “running man”*

Bruce:

Dick:

Babs:

Jason:

Steph:

Cass:

Damian: -Tt-

Duke:

Alfred:

Tim: I’m rocking so much adrenaline right now! My blood is basically Red Bull!

Alfred: *nods at Jason*

Jason: *tackles Tim in the middle of the “cabbage patch”*

Alfred: *waits for the table to be cleared of his grandsons, then lays out breakfast entrèes for everyone*

– • – • – • – • –

Good morning from the Manor!

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Mornings at the Manor…

Jason: *brushes his teeth*

Jason: *pauses*

Jason: *exasperated sigh*

Jason [to Dick]: You’re flirting with your reflection again. Cut it out.

~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~

And that is why “NEW BATHROOM – Jason” is a suggestion found in the Wayne Manor Home Improvement suggestion box (set up by Alfred).

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Mornings at the Manor…

Bruce: *drinking coffee, watching as his children gather in a small circle in the kitchen*

Tim: So, hands in.

Jason, Steph, Duke: *put their hands one on top of the other over Tim’s*

Tim: Defeat that little brat Damian on three! 1, 2, 3!

Bruce: *spits out coffee*

~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~

You kids just couldn’t at least let your father finish his coffee in peace, could you?

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Mornings at the Manor…

Bruce: *picks up the Gotham Gazette*

Dick: *doing pull-ups using the kitchen chandelier*

Alfred: *tugs at Dick’s feet to get him off the chandelier*

Tim: *typing furiously on his laptop, eyes narrowed with concentration*

Jason: *pours a fifth shot of espresso into Tim’s mug*

Damian: *picks bacon off Jason’s plate and feeds it to Alfred the Cat*

Bruce: *puts down the newspaper, buries his face in a hand and shakes his head*

Bruce: Just one question, boys. Do you get pleasure out of humiliating your family?

~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~

I’d say stick to the Business Section, Bruce, but I guess it’s kind of hard to avoid the headlines, huh?

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Breakfast at the Manor…

Duke: *listening to the birds chirping, the breeze blowing, the grass being mowed by Alfred… *

Duke: *looks around the kitchen suspiciously*

Duke: It’s quiet. Too quiet.

Duke:

Dune: *narrowly misses a birdarang, which hits and breaks a ketchup bottle, and hears two sets of footsteps – one lithe, the other heavy – barreling down the stairs and familiar voices yelling insults at each other*

Duke:

Duke: *gets up, grabs his stuff, and looks up the nearest Big Belly Burger on Waze* Suddenly it’s too loud. I preferred it when it was quiet.

Jason: *turns his seat to face @rayanyamor*And you felt the need to point it out because…?

Alfred: *conficates Jason’s Pop-Tarts and starts passing out plates of blueberry waffles to everyone at the table* Young masters, I implore you to let our guest have breakfast in peace.

Jason: Alf, wha–

Tim: *pops coffee beans into his mouth* But it’s a legit question, though.

Damian: *climbs on top of the kitchen table and brings his face so close to @rayanyamor’s that they’re practically nose-to-nose* What makes you so sure that we weren’t referring to another Robin?

Dick: *walks into the kitchen already eating from a cereal box* Good morning, family! What’re we talking about now? And where’s Dune?

Me: *drags my hand down my face in anguish* It was a typo. A typo.

~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~

Thank you, @rayanyamor !

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Mornings at the Manor…

Jason: *whistling while turning on the stove and beating eggs in a bowl*

Red Robin: *comes in through the kitchen window, bruised, tattered, and dripping blood*

Red Robin: Jay! I lost Damian! What am I going to do?!

Jason: Uhhhh. Don’t worry. Don’t worry. *looks around the kitchen in panic* Know what I’m going to do? I’m going to make you an omelet.

Red Robin: Just help me look for him!

Jason: Are you sure? I make ‘em with four kinds of cheese.

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Mornings at the Manor…

Tim and Damian: *bickering at the breakfast table*

Bruce: Quiet, you two! If I hear one more word, Tim doesn’t get to drink coffee and Damian doesn’t get to go on patrol.

Tim: Bruce!

Damian: Father!

Bruce: Not. One. Word.

Tim and Damian: *start insulting each other by lightly tapping spoons and banging salt and pepper shakers*

Bruce: I thought I told you two to knock it off.

Tim: We didn’t say anything!

Damian: Not one word!

Bruce: Well, no Morse code either.

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Mornings at the Batcave…

Tim: *downing a cup of espresso* Okay, we all know why we’re here, right?

Dick: *still in just boxer shorts, yawning and shaking his head*

Jason: *groans* No. Why?

Tim: To fight Damian, the bully. That tiny tween has been tormenting all of us for years, and I for one am sick of it! I can’t promise you victory. I can’t promise you good times. But the one thing I do know –

Dick and Jason: *head back to the Manor*

Tim: Whoa! Whoa! I promise you victory! I promise you good times!