Tag: mine

The Robins as…

a-wayne-at-heart:

HOSPITAL PATIENTS:

Dick: 

  • “Oh, those glass shards on my back? I get them all the time. No biggie. Hey, do you guys serve cereal?”
  • The staff love checking him ou – er, checking up on him.
  • Regales them with stories of past injuries, which none of them can believe are even possible (”Then how are you still alive?”)

Jason

  • Fake ID (since, you know, legally dead and all)
  • Wheeled into the hospital room by 5 AM, out through the window in a hospital gown and onto a waiting motorcycle by 5:15 AM  

Tim: 

  • Double-checks every diagnosis and every medication and cross-references them with similar cases in the city (and occasionally schools whoever is unfortunate enough to check up on him)
  • Who knows how pure liquid caffeine got injected into his IV bottle?

Damian:

  • “You call this food? My father will buy this place!”
  • Physical examination? You might as well put your hand inside a Tasmanian devil’s tunnel.

Just promoting original content from my other blog. 🙂

Oh, sorry. Timmy “schools whomever is unfortunate to check up on him”.

my incorrect #hashtags (so far…)

  • batman in love – Bruce, Selina, and their sappy, unconventional relationship

  • big brother of the year – mostly Jason being both the best and the worst older brother 
  • family patrol nights – because they are as dorky as they are bad-ass
  • grumpy old kid – because Damian
  • hug monster – just Dick doing what he does best
  • mornings at the manor – the sitcom of my dreams 

incorrect batfamily quotes

incorrect flash family quotes

incorrect justice league quotes

incorrect rhato quotes

incorrect super sons quotes

Mar’i: *cradling a dead bird and sobbing*

Jason: I’ve been through this before, Sweetheart. When your Uncle Damian was fourteen, I was supposed to take care of his parakeet. It got out and flew into a fan. It was like a bloody pillow fight.

Mar’i: DAAAADDDDYYY!!!

~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~

In which Dick (reluctantly) reconsiders caffeine-addicted Uncle Tim for babysitting.

At the Watchtower…

Justice League: *watching surveillance, Youtube and news footage on the mainframe computer*

Batman: *walks into the room and sees Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, Robin and Lark (and a bunch of burning buildings and screaming citizens) on the screen*

Superman: *arms crossed*

Wonder Woman: *hands on hips, shaking her head*

Aquaman: *raises an eyebrow*

The Flash: *wide-eyed*

Green Lantern: *biting his lip to suppress a smirk*

Cyborg: Wo-ho-hoooooo.

Batman: Hn.

Batman: Whatever they did, add it to my tab.

Batman: *walks out*

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

When Batgrandpa gets fed up (because you’re wrecking all the furniture in the Manor)…

Alfred: All of you be. Quiet.

Alfred: Master Timothy, Miss Stephanie’s mad because you said “awesome sauce” instead of “I love you, too”.

Alfred: Miss Stephanie, he loves you. Stop being a child.

Alfred: Master Dick, you’re clearly at fault here. Blaming Master Jason won’t save you.

Alfred: And, Master Jason, we both know you were hanging out with Bizarro instead of watching over Master Damian like you promised.

Alfred: So. *looks around at his stunned grandchildren, who are bruised and battered from trying to “resolve” things earlier*

Alfred: Everyone apologize to everyone else. Now.

—

What would this family do without him?

Alfred: *hears the floor creak behind him*

Alfred: *turns around to see a deer caught in the headlights* And, you, Master Bruce, may not be excused.

Oh, ancient Wayne Manor floor, you are a traitor.

Dick: *decides to move on from being Robin and become Nightwing* 

Bruce: Is there anything I can say?

Dick: You can give me your word that you’ll be just as hard on my successor as you were on me. 

Bruce: You have my word.

~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~

Red Hood, upon hearing this anecdote: Why, that little piece of sh–

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

When you’re bored and trying to stay awake during one of Batman’s “lectures”… 

Red Hood: *points at Batman, whispering* Pew, pew! Pew! 

Red Hood: *blows imaginary smoke off finger guns, then tucks them into imaginary holsters*

Red Hood: I’m so good it’s stupid. I’m stupid good. 

Red Robin: *overhears him from behind*

Red Robin: *with rings around drooping eyelids, drinking his fifteenth cup of coffee for the day* No. Just stupid.

Batman: *walks into the Watchtower’s Hall of Justice*

Batman: *narrows his eyes* Hn.

Batman: *swiftly turns on the light*

Everyone: SURPRISE, BRUCE!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! *confetti explosions, colorful bat-shaped balloons, tooting horns*

Batman: *wide-eyed, open-mouthed and motionless*

Wonder Woman: *checks him for a pulse*

Superman: *whispers in his ear* I know it’s your specialty, but let’s try not to overthink this one, okay?

~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~

Aww, you guys! Don’t scare him like that.

At the Batcave’s Minor Procedures Room…

Alfred: *filling a syringe with anesthesia*

Red Hood: *gripping Damian’s hand with both of his*

Red Hood: It’s okay, little buddy, I’m right here with you. Go ahead, Alf.

Robin: Ow! Ow! Ow!

Red Hood: Hey, please go easy on the kid!

Robin: No, you’re squishing my hand, Todd!

Red Hood: Oh. Sorry. But did you feel the shot?

Robin: *glances at the newly emptied syringe being held by Alfred*

Robin: No.

Red Hood: You’re welcome.

Alfred: Perhaps you’d prefer to wait in your room, Master Jason.

Red Hood: I’d prefer a morphine drip and a sponge bath, but the kid needs me!