Tag: mine

abriphone:

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

goodonedorkknight:

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

omgiamwish:

For this post by @incorrect-batfamily-quotes

Batjet: *glides down the Batcave driveway and parks itself smoothly*

Batjet door: *opens dramatically*

One of Batman’s boots: *steps out*

Red Robin: *shields his eyes from the brightness* AH!

The rest of Batman’s body: *gets out*

Red Hood: *snorts* HA! *covers his mouth as soon as the yell escapes his mouth*

Batman:

Batman: Hn.

Alfred: *taking the snow-white fur cape off Bruce’s shoulders* Welcome home, Master Bruce. I trust your mission in the Alps with Mr. Kent went well?

Batman: *grunts*

Nightwing: *trying desperately to contain his giggling* D-did y-y-you g-get a h-haircut over there, B?

Red Robin: *smirking and elbowing Jason’s ribs* Or a tan? Something’s definitely different.

Red Hood: *shaking uncontrollably and muttering* Stop it or I’m gonna lose it, Replacement.

Robin: Don’t be ridiculous, Drake. On an unrelated note, have you seen Disney’s “Frozen”, Father?

His brothers: *erupt into full-blown laughter*

Batman: *takes off his cowl, sighs wearily and slumps onto his computer chair*

Nightwing: *on the Comm Link, in a sing-song tone* Baaaabs, guess who just got into fashion? No, not me – Okay, yeah, but that’s not the point –

Robin: *on FaceTime with Jon* Kent, you will not believe – Oh, of course your father already told you –

Red Robin: *on the phone with Conner* – pictures, Dude –

Alfred: *serves him tea* Well, I think you look lovely, Master Bruce. The bright yellow goes well with all the brooding.

Batman:

Batman: *grinning as he sips tea*

Red Hood: *wiping blissful tears off his eyes as he types a message on Tumblr* @omgiamwish , quick, how do I wire-transfer money to your Earth?

Me: *comes up beside Jason, shaking my head and grinning* Yes, you have, @omgiamwish . Yes, you have.

Brilliant. Thank you!

Black Bat: *takes her hands off @nanna-the-batmum ’s eyes* Ta-daaa!

Spoiler: *rolling on the floor and wheezing from excessive laughter*

The Signal: *walking distractedly into the Batcave as he goes through messages on his phone* Uh, guys? I just got a text from Jason, something about – *does a double-take and covers his mouth the moment he realizes it’s Bruce* Wooooahhhh, no, no, dude – Is this really happening right now?

Batgirl: Somehow more mind-boggling than the existence of parallel Earths, huh? This is gonna confuse my dad. I should probably give him a heads up.

Me: *dials an undisclosed number on my phone* Heeeeyyyy Selina… I’m sorry to bother you, but you might wanna drop that diamond you’re stuffing into your suit and come over. I’ve got something… shinier.

This. Post. Is. Golden.

Alfred: You know what else is “golden”, Master @goodonedorkknight ?

Alfred: *holding up one of Batman’s golden, clawed gloves*

Batkids: *crack up all over again*

Batman: *dialing Superman’s number so someone can fly him away from the Manor*

Have the batkids not seen the credits scene of the Lego Batman Movie?

Red Hood: Well, yeah, but like – *wheezing*

Red Robin: *cackling* I-it – it’s still –

Robin: *getting up from the ground and regaining his composure* Ridiculous.

Black Bat: *hugging Bruce’s neck from behind* I think it’s adorable.

Batgirl: Okay, but Dick gets a free pass for that movie?

Nightwing: *whining* Baaaaabs… Hey, you were –

Batgirl: *gives him a look*

Nightwing: *pretends to zip his mouth and smirks*

Spoiler: Yeah, um, so. I’ll go get the popcorn.

The Signal: And I’ll set up the movie room.

Red Hood: And I’ll make sure Bruce and Dick suffer through the movie the way their wardrobe did. *winks*

Robin: Are you coming, @abriphone ?

Source: omgiamwish

goodonedorkknight:

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

omgiamwish:

For this post by @incorrect-batfamily-quotes

Batjet: *glides down the Batcave driveway and parks itself smoothly*

Batjet door: *opens dramatically*

One of Batman’s boots: *steps out*

Red Robin: *shields his eyes from the brightness* AH!

The rest of Batman’s body: *gets out*

Red Hood: *snorts* HA! *covers his mouth as soon as the yell escapes his mouth*

Batman:

Batman: Hn.

Alfred: *taking the snow-white fur cape off Bruce’s shoulders* Welcome home, Master Bruce. I trust your mission in the Alps with Mr. Kent went well?

Batman: *grunts*

Nightwing: *trying desperately to contain his giggling* D-did y-y-you g-get a h-haircut over there, B?

Red Robin: *smirking and elbowing Jason’s ribs* Or a tan? Something’s definitely different.

Red Hood: *shaking uncontrollably and muttering* Stop it or I’m gonna lose it, Replacement.

Robin: Don’t be ridiculous, Drake. On an unrelated note, have you seen Disney’s “Frozen”, Father?

His brothers: *erupt into full-blown laughter*

Batman: *takes off his cowl, sighs wearily and slumps onto his computer chair*

Nightwing: *on the Comm Link, in a sing-song tone* Baaaabs, guess who just got into fashion? No, not me – Okay, yeah, but that’s not the point –

Robin: *on FaceTime with Jon* Kent, you will not believe – Oh, of course your father already told you –

Red Robin: *on the phone with Conner* – pictures, Dude –

Alfred: *serves him tea* Well, I think you look lovely, Master Bruce. The bright yellow goes well with all the brooding.

Batman:

Batman: *grinning as he sips tea*

Red Hood: *wiping blissful tears off his eyes as he types a message on Tumblr* @omgiamwish , quick, how do I wire-transfer money to your Earth?

Me: *comes up beside Jason, shaking my head and grinning* Yes, you have, @omgiamwish . Yes, you have.

Brilliant. Thank you!

Black Bat: *takes her hands off @nanna-the-batmum ’s eyes* Ta-daaa!

Spoiler: *rolling on the floor and wheezing from excessive laughter*

The Signal: *walking distractedly into the Batcave as he goes through messages on his phone* Uh, guys? I just got a text from Jason, something about – *does a double-take and covers his mouth the moment he realizes it’s Bruce* Wooooahhhh, no, no, dude – Is this really happening right now?

Batgirl: Somehow more mind-boggling than the existence of parallel Earths, huh? This is gonna confuse my dad. I should probably give him a heads up.

Me: *dials an undisclosed number on my phone* Heeeeyyyy Selina… I’m sorry to bother you, but you might wanna drop that diamond you’re stuffing into your suit and come over. I’ve got something… shinier.

This. Post. Is. Golden.

Alfred: You know what else is “golden”, Master @goodonedorkknight ?

Alfred: *holding up one of Batman’s golden, clawed gloves*

Batkids: *crack up all over again*

Batman: *dialing Superman’s number so someone can fly him away from the Manor*

Source: omgiamwish

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

omgiamwish:

For this post by @incorrect-batfamily-quotes

Batjet: *glides down the Batcave driveway and parks itself smoothly*

Batjet door: *opens dramatically*

One of Batman’s boots: *steps out*

Red Robin: *shields his eyes from the brightness* AH!

The rest of Batman’s body: *gets out*

Red Hood: *snorts* HA! *covers his mouth as soon as the yell escapes his mouth*

Batman:

Batman: Hn.

Alfred: *taking the snow-white fur cape off Bruce’s shoulders* Welcome home, Master Bruce. I trust your mission in the Alps with Mr. Kent went well?

Batman: *grunts*

Nightwing: *trying desperately to contain his giggling* D-did y-y-you g-get a h-haircut over there, B?

Red Robin: *smirking and elbowing Jason’s ribs* Or a tan? Something’s definitely different.

Red Hood: *shaking uncontrollably and muttering* Stop it or I’m gonna lose it, Replacement.

Robin: Don’t be ridiculous, Drake. On an unrelated note, have you seen Disney’s “Frozen”, Father?

His brothers: *erupt into full-blown laughter*

Batman: *takes off his cowl, sighs wearily and slumps onto his computer chair*

Nightwing: *on the Comm Link, in a sing-song tone* Baaaabs, guess who just got into fashion? No, not me – Okay, yeah, but that’s not the point –

Robin: *on FaceTime with Jon* Kent, you will not believe – Oh, of course your father already told you –

Red Robin: *on the phone with Conner* – pictures, Dude –

Alfred: *serves him tea* Well, I think you look lovely, Master Bruce. The bright yellow goes well with all the brooding.

Batman:

Batman: *grinning as he sips tea*

Red Hood: *wiping blissful tears off his eyes as he types a message on Tumblr* @omgiamwish , quick, how do I wire-transfer money to your Earth?

Me: *comes up beside Jason, shaking my head and grinning* Yes, you have, @omgiamwish . Yes, you have.

Brilliant. Thank you!

Source: omgiamwish

Red Hood: Bruce, Alfred, I have made a very important decision. I’m moving out.

Robin: Yes.

Red Hood: And moving in with Roy and Bizarro.

Alfred: My goodness.

Batman: *grunts*

Arsenal: Oh, yeaaah. Video games and beer all day and all night…

Artemis: *knocking on the door and entering* Oh, I’m sorry.

Artemis [to Jason]: Can I talk to you for a second? It’s kind of important.

Red Hood: *walks out of the room with Artemis*

Arsenal: *rolls his eyes* Talk about your third wheel.

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Gotham City, 10 PM…

Robin: *sitting on a gargoyle atop the Wayne Enterprises tower, scrolling through the incorrect-batfamily-quotes Tumblr page on his phone*

Robin: -Tt-

Robin: *scoffs* What childish nonsense! I do not talk like that. Drake, on the other hand –

Robin:

Robin: What the…

Robin: Haaaaa – *breaks out in maniacal laughter*

Nightwing: *somersaults from a dark corner, escrima sticks lighted* Stand down, Robin!

Red Hood: *runs out of the stairwell and onto the rooftop, guns cocked* No need to go crazy there, kid!

Red Robin: *lands onto the rooftop and folds his “wings” behind him, bo staff at the ready* Wait till Batman hears of –

Robin: *wheezing*

Nightwing: Where’s… ? *looking around, utterly confused*

Robin: *wiping gleeful tears from his eyes* Where’s what, Grayson?

Red Robin: Don’t act dumb! The villain you were harrassing! Where are they, brat?!

Robin: …

Red Hood: Look, D, I may be the black sheep of the family and probably not the best example, but the use of excessive force –

Robin: *drags his hand down his face in annoyance* Shut. Up.

Robin: *shows them his phone*

His brothers: *dumbfounded*

Robin: Ridiculous, right? Ha ha ha.

~ • ~ • ~ • ~

Little D may find it hilarious, but I’m… Wow.

It’s quite surreal, especially since I’ve been standing on the shoulders of both professional and amateur writers whose content have inspired me to come up with context for their work (and eventually my own).

Thank you for supporting this blog. Thank you for inspiring me and laughing with me.

Hugs,

a-wayne-at-heart/incorrect-batfamily-quotes

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Superman: *whispering to Wonder Woman* If I had a dollar for every person I couldn’t hang out with because they didn’t like Batman, I’d be rich. Like fill-my-tractor-tank-up-all-the-way rich.

Meanwhile….

Batman: *turning off his earpiece* Hn.

~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~

He may not have super hearing, but your best friend’s got super surveillance equipment, Clark.

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Mission on a remote island…

Red Robin: *cutting through jungle foliage with his bo staff* Brat, who are you talking to – Oh, #*$@!!!

Alien: BLARG!

Robin: *standing in front of the nine-foot-tall, Predator-looking creature, ready to defend it* Stop! He is my friend! He’s not going to eat anybody!

Red Hood: *yelling from behind a bush* Yeah! Says you stink too much to eat!

a-wayne-at-heart:

The Robins as…

GROCERY SHOPPERS (sent by Alfred)

Dick:

  • Most likely to get stared at (for obvious reasons)
  • Keeps calling Alfred to report on available varieties for each item on the list and bargains for his or his siblings’ favorite snacks
  • Sings along or dances to the jingle while waiting in line at the cashier

Jason:

  • Most likely to stick to the grocery list
  • But his plan to “just get this over with” is usually derailed by a senior citizen struggling to put a heavy sack into a cart or a little kid trying to reach a toy on a high shelf
  • Comes home to the Manor blushing deeply and with lipstick stains from a grateful old lady

Tim:

  • Most likely to spend the whole day in the grocery
  • Because (1) he’s still groggy from pulling an all-nighter for a case and can’t mentally process Alfred’s list, or (2) he can’t help but research the toxicity profile of everything on it, which somehow leads him to cross-reference them with recent sightings of… (*looks up from his phone* “Oh, Alfred! Why are you here? Where am I?”)

Damian:

  • Most likely to sulk the entire time (“You do not send a prince to do a servant’s job, Pennyworth!”)… that is, until he discovers the pet section
  • Also most likely to be sent back to return everything that he bought and pick up the things that were actually on the list