“Oh, those glass shards on my back? I get them all the time. No biggie. Hey, do you guys serve cereal?”
The staff love checking him ou – er, checking up on him.
Regales them with stories of past injuries, which none of them can believe are even possible (”Then how are you still alive?”)
Jason
Fake ID (since, you know, legally dead and all)
Wheeled into the hospital room by 5 AM, out through the window in a hospital gown and onto a waiting motorcycle by 5:15 AM
Tim:
Double-checks every diagnosis and every medication and cross-references them with similar cases in the city (and occasionally schools whomever is unfortunate enough to check up on him)
Who knows how pure liquid caffeine got injected into his IV bottle?
Damian:
“You call this food? My father will buy this place!”
Physical examination? You might as well put your hand inside a Tasmanian devil’s tunnel.
A lot of different styles, but mostly contempo or jazz
Daily outfits range from booty shorts to harem pants
Mind-blowing fluidity (and that he’s so easy to look at and utterly approachable is just the cherry on top)
Jason
Capoeira (or any style that’s close to a martial art)
Free sessions especially held for street kids (with Batburger meals on his tab if they choose to hang out afterwards)
Encourages students to embrace their individuality in self-expression
Tim
“I said a hip hop, hippie to the hippie, the hip, hip a hop, and you don’t stop, a rock it out”
Co-instructs with Cass, who’ll teach ballet from time to time
Makes sure to emphasize discipline as much as he does fun
Damian
Traditional dances from all over the world (like the Arabian Dabke) – recital-level costumes included
Yoga as warm-up (preferrably the one that involves goats)
“Water breaks are for the weak”
Who teaches pole dancing?
Alfred: *referring to a dusty pole dancing kit that he just retreived from the ancient Wayne Manor attic*Master Bruce, where would you like this installed?
Bruce: Hn. The training room.
Alfred: *wistful* What were you, 18? 20? I forget.
Bruce: It’s been a while, yes. And it’s time my children learned how to use it, too. The skills are definitely transferrable to combat.
Alfred: Well, I’m certain Master Dick has an idea, but carry on. And, please, keep it decent.
“If a Kryptonian with a mass of… hmmm… give or take 103 kg, is at rest on a 45-degree incline…” *holding up a poorly drawn illustration of what looks like a stick figure with a red “S” on his chest atop said inclined plane*
[to the teenage girl who’s been ogling him since the session started] *tapping the notepad with a pencil* “Okay, eyes over here, young lady.”
Makes his students giggle endlessly because of his puns and silly examples
Spends extra time in reaching out to his troubled students and, if called for, approaches their parents (who trust him quite a lot)
Jason
Perhaps the most patient one of all (because apparently he enjoys mentoring someone)
Also the most structured one (thanks to his own study habits as a youngster before he – y’know)
Holds free group/one-on-one study sessions for street kids in Gotham community centers (in which he also includes anti-bullying and anti-drug abuse talks), with meals and school supplies sponsored by the Wayne Foundation
“Don’t beat yourself up too hard, kid”
Tim
Field trips to the Gotham City Library, S.T.A.R. Labs, Atlantis, etc. (”Like the saying goes, experience is the best teacher. Just maybe don’t, uh, tell your parents, alright?”)
Very adept at simplifying complex theoretical concepts (and his cheesy mnemonics are a hit!)
Invites his fellow Titans to hold group study sessions for students, especially when final exams are approaching
Enjoys hanging out with his students outside of tutorials (and secretly patrols their schools to make sure they’re safe)
Damian
His lesson plan includes the literary works of Machiavelli and Tolstoy (and that’s just for 4th graders)
Rewards (”Should you ace this exam – and by ‘ace’ I mean perfect it – then you will be entitled to watch me defeat a supervillain in the flesh”) and punishes (”An A minus! No creamy, frozen dessert for you!”)
[Student] *crying* [Him] “… PENNYWORTH!”
Finds that spending time with other young individuals has given him a second chance at being a kid (which he would never admit to anyone, of course)
Batman (Dick): First thing when you want to get something out of someone: make them comfortable. Don’t say anything blunt or harsh. In other words, Little D, don’t be yourself too much.
Robin (Damian): I’d be offended if it weren’t so true.
Batman: *clears his throat loudly* So unless anybody *glares at Tim for two whole seconds* has any more mythical creatures to suggest as a name for the new vehicle, we’re gonna stick with: the Warthog. How about it, Tim?
Red Robin: Nope. No more suggestions.
Batman: Hn. Okay, now if you’ll all –
Red Hood: *blurting out* Are you sure? How ‘bout “Big Foot”?
Red Robin: *gritting his teeth* It’s okay.
Nightwing: *trying to stifle his laughter* “Unicorn”?
Red Robin: *gripping his bo staff tighter* No, really. I’m… I’m cool.
Robin: *smirking* “Sasquatch”?
The Signal: *elbowing Tim* “Leprechaun”?
Red Robin: *elbowing Duke back and getting really annoyed* Hey, he doesn’t need any help, guys.
Spoiler: *yelling as she enters the Batcave* “Phoenix”?
Red Robin: *sighs and rubs his face in frustration* Guys.
Batman: *grinning* Barbara, what’s the name of that Mexican lizard? Eats all the goats.
Batgirl: *sarcastically looking it up on the Batcomputer* Uh, that would be the Chupacabra, Bruce.
Orphan: *drops down from the ceiling* Tim, Chupa-thingy, how ‘bout that? I like it. Got a ring to it.
Red Robin: *attempts to melt onto the Batcave floor*
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