Superman: *throws his hands up in exasperation* Thank you, @hillshollow !
Batman: Hn.
Superman: Just this morning, at breakfast, for crying out loud!*imitating Bruce’s voice* “Clark, pass the ketchup.” Tone. “Jordan, you seem to enjoy eating garbage.” Tone. “Diana –” Well, you did dial it down for that one.
Batman: *puffing out his chest and putting his hands on his hips* And this is necessary at all times?
Superman:
Superman: *eyes glowing red* ARGH! *walks out of the hall*
Superman: There’s just no winning with you, Bruce!
Martian Manhunter: *raises his imaginary eyebrows*
Batman: *glares*
Martian Manhunter: *shakes his head*
Batman: *keeps glaring*
Martian Manhunter: *rubs his temples in frustration*
Superman: So, uh, what have you guys been talking abou–
Martian Manhunter: *throws his arms up in frustration* Fine, Bruce! If it’s the only way you’ll go on this mission!
Batman:
Batman: *smirks*
Batman [to his Comm Link]: Nightwing, go get Alfred.
Bonus:
Alfred: *stuffing secret pockets in his waistcoat with weapons* Master Bruce, you ridiculous man.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
He can’t spit fire, but he can probably out-rhyme Etrigan. Plus, he’s put Superman in his place at least once. And if Bruce’s ego listens to anyone, it’s him. All the Robins know this. So J’onn just has to concede.
Martian Manhunter [to Wonder Woman]: Do they know that they’re finishing each other’s sentences?
Taking a trip down memory lane be like…
Barry: Hal didn’t trust Bruce.
Clark: And Bruce didn’t trust Hal.
J’onn: That’s why they had lunch together every single week…?
Diana: To express their mutual distrust.
Barry and Clark: Exactly.
Arthur: *shrugs* Meh.
Martian Manhunter: *pulling Batman and Green Lantern apart* Guy, there is no need for violence. There never is. I would like to think that we are all intelligent, mature adults that can settle their differences, whenever they come to light, through words.
Green Lantern: Yeah, well, I let my fists do the talking. Not this one, ‘cause obviously, I need it for wearing my ring and stuff. But this one, I let it speak for both of them.
But Batman’s good at using only one of his fists, too, ain’t he, Guy?
Batman and Superman: *arguing*
Martian Manhunter: …
Martian Manhunter [to Wonder Woman]: Do they know that they’re finishing each other’s sentences?
When Plastic Man tried out for the JLA…
J’onn: I’m a little confused. Are you telling me this photo of Batman is your resumé?
Patrick: Well, when I showed up this morning, I didn’t have a formal resumé on me, so I was sort of hoping the photograph of Batman could represent the standard of excellence I’m hoping to bring to this position.
From: JLA #2 (1997)
In which…
a.) The new Green Lantern assumes Batman’s got the plan (and reasonably so).
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 