Jon: What’s the strangest pet you’ve ever had?
Damian: You.
Don’t be rude, Dami.
Tag: jon kent
Trying to make it up to your super best friend be like…
Damian [to Jon]: I’ll be more attentive to your needs on the seesaw. I’ll stay down there as long as you want.
Damian: -Tt-
Damian: People here do not respect boundaries. -Tt-
Jon: Damian, did you just buckle your seatbelt through my loop?
When Jon introduces him to the animals on the Kent farm…
Damian: *snuggling to a sheep* He is so awesome. I already love him more than Drake.
When you’re trying to convince your best friend that a billionaire’s son is just as capable of doing farm work…
Damian [to Jon]: I’m blue collar! I’m absolutely blue collar. My father owns a shovel.
Damian [about Jon]: I need some candy for our first playdate, but I don’t want to come on too strong.
Jason: M&M’s?
Damian: Well, if I pick plain, he’ll think I’m cheap. And if I pick peanut, he may have an allergy. You just killed him, Todd!
Jason: *shrugs* How about Charleston Chew?
Damian: What is this, Brooklyn in the fifties? Don’t just say stuff.
Jason: You asked for my help, then you don’t want it.
Alfred: Excuse me, Master Damian, but why not consider an Almond Joy? It looks like you only brought something for yourself, but then you just happen to have two pieces.
Damian: Finally, a real suggestion!
Jason: *gets a piece of Almond Joy from the tray* If he doesn’t like coconut, you’re screwed.
When Batman grounds you for all the shenanigans you pulled with your super best friend…
Damian: You can’t keep Jon and me apart! I’ll… I’ll disobey!
Bruce: I’m also Jason Todd’s father. Do you think you’ve got any tricks I haven’t seen?
Bruce: *leaves room*
Damian: *climbs out of a third story window, slides down a tree, and lands in a wheelbarrow being pushed by Bruce*
Bruce: Hn. Jason Todd: Age 14.
Bruce: *drags Damian back into the Manor by the scruff of his Robin uniform*
Jason: *comes out of a hidden door in the tree*
Jason: Jason Todd: Age 19. Mwahahahaha!
When Batman refuses to let you have a conventional cell phone due to “security reasons”…
Damian: Father, even Kent has a cell phone. Your son is lamer than Superboy! What does that say about you?
Jon: Damian, I don’t want you to see me cry.
Damian: Oh, come on. I’ve seen you cry a million times. You cry when you think you’ve scraped your knee. You cry when your grandparents are out of chocolate milk. You cry when you’re doing long division and you have a remainder left over.
Sage advice…
Damian [to Jon]: Things change when you hit the big 1-O. Your legs start to go, candy doesn’t taste as good anymore.
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