incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

When you’re trying to give your youngest son the “birds and bees” talk but your other sons want to stick around to see how it goes…

Bruce [to Damian]: *opens mouth to talk*

Bruce: *hears a camera shutter sound*

Bruce: Hn.

Bruce: *opens mouth to talk again*

Bruce: *notices the reflection of three heads peeking from a crevice in the cave on the Batcomputer screen*

Bruce [to Damian]: Oh, good, everyone’s in here. I was worried we’d have a private conversation for once.

A voice from the crevice: You’re welcome, Bruce!

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

After hours of searching the Manor…

Alfred: *throws hands up in exasperation as the five-course dinner he prepared grows cold* Well, the boys are off. I wonder where they went.

Bruce: Out of town.

Alfred: How do you know, Master Bruce?

Bruce: I told them not to.

Jason: *oblivious to the remnants of the scrumptuous five-course meal he just devoured hanging off the corner of his mouth as realization dawns on him* Son of a bat…

Dick: Right?

Tim: It didn’t seem suspicious to you? At all?

Damian: -Tt- Reverse psychology. I wouldn’t put it past Father.

Duke: Or is it reverse-reverse psychology… ?

Alfred: *grinning smugly while placing a slice of homemade blueberry mousse in front of each of them* Does it really matter, young masters?

Alfred: Care for a piece, @imaginationphoenix ?

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Breakfast at the Manor…

Duke: *listening to the birds chirping, the breeze blowing, the grass being mowed by Alfred… *

Duke: *looks around the kitchen suspiciously*

Duke: It’s quiet. Too quiet.

Duke:

Dune: *narrowly misses a birdarang, which hits and breaks a ketchup bottle, and hears two sets of footsteps – one lithe, the other heavy – barreling down the stairs and familiar voices yelling insults at each other*

Duke:

Duke: *gets up, grabs his stuff, and looks up the nearest Big Belly Burger on Waze* Suddenly it’s too loud. I preferred it when it was quiet.