Post-mission debriefing…
Red Hood:
Nightwing:
Red Robin:
Robin:
Red Hood: Who can blame me for having a little fun? 🤷‍♂
Nightwing: I can.
Red Robin: Me, too.
Robin: -Tt-
Tag: jason todd
At the Watchtower…
Justice League: *watching surveillance, Youtube and news footage on the mainframe computer*
Batman: *walks into the room and sees Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, Robin and Lark (and a bunch of burning buildings and screaming citizens) on the screen*
Superman: *arms crossed*
Wonder Woman: *hands on hips, shaking her head*
Aquaman: *raises an eyebrow*
The Flash: *wide-eyed*
Green Lantern: *biting his lip to suppress a smirk*
Cyborg: Wo-ho-hoooooo.
Batman: Hn.
Batman: Whatever they did, add it to my tab.
Batman: *walks out*
And if you were convinced that Batman went back to work at the Watchtower after walking calmly and collectedly out of that room, then you probably didn’t even consider that he’d run to the teleporters at top speed to get back to Earth and do damage control (a.k.a. give his kids a piece of his mind).
Watching as a Godzilla-like creature terrorizes Gotham City…
Nightwing: *lighting up his escrima sticks* What do you give for our odds? About 50-50?
Red Hood: *doing a mental inventory of the explosives in his suit* That’s what I like about you, Dick. You’re an optimist.
Alfred: *running to meet Jason at the Batcave entrance, horrified at the sight of him* How are you even still alive?
Red Hood: Most of that blood’s not mine.
Red Robin [on the comm link]: *hacking into the security cameras of the warehouse to keep an eye out for Jason* You’re in danger.
Red Hood: *dodging a samurai sword from behind him by a half an inch* Thanks, buddy. I just figured that out.
The Signal: *feeling dejected after receiving “The Talk” from Batman after a mission gone awry*
Nightwing: *putting a comforting arm on his shoulder* Hey, don’t listen to Bruce.
Red Hood: *opening a bottle of beer using a batarang lying around* We don’t.
Tim and Damian: *throwing threats at each other*
Dick and Jason: *watching from the couch, eating popcorn*
Dick: Jay, who would you choose? Timmy or Dami?
Jason: It’s none of our business. Tim.
At a Wayne Foundation gala…
Jason: *grabs a glass of champagne from a server’s tray*
Cass: Nice tux, Tim.
Tim: I know. It belonged to Jason. He was buried in it, so… family heirloom.
Jason: *spits out champagne*
At a Wayne Foundation gala…
Tim: So how come you don’t have to get all dressed up?
Jason: I am dressed up. You see any holes in these pants?
tonight’s obsession: circumstances that lead to the Batfamily giving up and calling an uber Â
Nightwing: *speaking in a hushed tone* No, no, B, look, just –
Nightwing: *hissing* Will you stop that please? You’re breaking the freakin’ door! You want to buy this nice gentleman a brand new car, is that what you want?
Batman: *snorts, then let’s go of the door handle and glares at the window*
Nightwing: There. Was that so hard? Now, relax. As I was saying, once in a while, it’s nice to let someone else take the wheel, you know? To just let go of that consuming urge to control everything and everyone and –
Driver: *eyeing them through the rear view mirror* So, you two headed to the Gotham Comic Con?
Batman: Hrrrn.
Nightwing: Yes, yes, that’s exactly it.
Red Robin: *wakes up with a jolt* Huh, what, where am I? Who are you?!
Driver: Sir, I’m your driver and you’re in an Uber that you booked…?
Red Robin: Oh. *relaxes into his seat, staining it further with the blood dripping from his suit*
Driver: *eyeing him through the rear view mirror* Costume party, huh?
Red Robin: *thinking about how patrol went and chuckling* Clowns, shrinks, hyenas… You name it.
Driver: Sounds wild.
Red Robin: *yawning* Yuppp yup yup.
Driver: Also, I just want to make sure, because it says here on the map that I’m supposed to drop you at *zooms the location in* a garbage dumpsite…?
Red Robin: Yeah, don’t worry about. *shuts his eyes and goes back to sleep*
At Gotham Academy…
Damian: *glares at the driver through the rear view mirror*
Driver: *shifts uncomfortably in his seat*
Damian: You’re not Pennyworth.
Driver: Uh, excuse me, Sir?
Damian: *narrows his eyes and whispers in his ear* He told me he’d pick me up. So why. Aren’t you. Pennyworth.
Driver: I don’t, uh, I’m not – Sir, I just – *shaking, sweating, and about to hit the call button after dialling “911”*
Damian: That won’t be necessary.
Damian: *gets out of the car and dials a number*
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ •~
Alfred [on the phone]: *chopping vegetables* Master Damian, I understand you’re upset, but it’s time you learned other means of transpor– Oh, oh, dear. I apologize, my dear boy. No, you were not being abandoned, I just thought– Shh, shhh. No more crying. I’m on my way. [*click*]
Red Hood: *takes off his helmet, adjusts his domino mask, and lights up a cigarette*
Driver: Sir, that’s not –
Red Hood: *blows smoke out of a window and offers him a stick* Want one?
Driver: No, it’s, it’s fine. *gulps* Thank you.
Red Hood: You seen any penguins lately?
Driver: Penguins… Like, the ones at the zoo?
Red Hood: No. Suspicious ones.
Driver: I, um… don’t think so.
Red Hood: *puts his cigarette out and flicks it into a garbage bin they pass* Just drop me off at that bar right there.
Driver: Are you sure? Because it says on the map that we’re still half a mile away from The Daily Planet –
Red Hood: *reloading a gun and muttering to himself while looking intensely out the of the window* There you are, you piece of filth. Hiding out in Metropolis like the coward that you are –
Driver: *gulps as he eyes him through the rear view mirror*
Red Hood: *hands a hundred dollar bill to the driver, then pats him on the shoulder* Thanks, man.
Driver: *gets a jolt as he hears the door slam shut* You’re welcome, Sir… Rason Rodd.
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