Tim: *mimicking SpongeBob’s voice* Thaaat’s right, ‘cause in this family you gotsa do your chores!
Jason: *scrubbing spray paint off the Batmobile while watching Alfred from the corner of his eye* Stop saying stupid stuff and come help!
Tag: jason todd
Attempting to buy weapons at an underground armory…
Red Hood [to store owner]: *realizing that Bruce cancelled his credit cards* Wait, fine, my credit is bad. Do you accept street cred?
Red Hood: *trying to catch his breath* Roy, you texted me “911”! What’s the emergency?!
Arsenal: *holding up a picture of Red Hood and Bizarro at a superhero party together* Uh, well, our friendship’s in danger!
At a Wayne Foundation gala…
Dick: *talking animatedly*
Jason:
Dick: *laughing hysterically at his own joke*
Jason:
Dick: *wiping tears off his eyes*
Jason: Are you wearing make-up?
Dick: I’m always wearing a little bit of foundation, but that’s not the point.
When your detective of a father asks you and your brothers what happened to the Batmobile…
Bruce [to Dick, Jason, Tim, and Damian]: *narrows eyes*
Bruce: Usually, when everything’s normal, people don’t respond in perfectly rehearsed unison.
What Batman’s day is really like…
Dick: *watching on as one of his brothers does something*
Dick: Bruce? Did you just see – ?
Bruce: Yes. I’ll deal with that tomorrow.
Warehouse: *explodes*
Red Robin: *watches as debris slowly fall into the Gotham Harbor*
Red Hood: *looks at Tim questioningly*
Red Robin: Bruce’s not going to say anything because we’re not going to tell him.
Red Hood: We’re not?
Red Robin: No, we’re not.
Red Hood: Alright. I like that.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Because Tim would totally propose this and Jason would totally agree.
Preparing for Family Patrol Night…
Robin: *adjusting Goliath’s leash* What, Todd, for the first time ever, doesn’t want to do this?
Nightwing: *stuffing cereal packets into strategic places in his suit* No, no, he does. It’s just that he’s been so mopey.
Red Robin: *checking the coordinates of a supervillain’s lair on the Batcomputer* Well, that could have something to do with the fact that today’s his death anniversary.
Nightwing: I don’t know what it is.
Red Robin: I think that’s what it is.
Robin: -Tt- Who knows with him?
Red Robin: *looks into the camera like he’s on “The Office”*
Paintball war at the Manor…
Dick: *whispering* Why did the Resurrected Robins stop firing?
Tim: *listening to every sound* I don’t know… They’re probably out of ammo.
Jason: *yelling from a makeshift fort in Damian’s room* Hey, Fake-Dead Robins, we are giving you a chance to surrender!
Dick: *aims his paintball marker at the draped Batman bedsheet* Yeah, they’re definitely out of ammo.
Jason: *reloading*
Tim: *yelling from behind a grandfather clock* Real guns don’t count, dude!
Damian: –
Dick: *yelling from beside Tim* Neither do blades, Little D, sorry!
Damian: *putting his katana back in his closet* -Tt-
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Jay’s got ammo, alright. @jasontoddbestafterdeath
When your eldest brother asks you to look after his Blüdhaven apartment while he’s away on a mission…
Red Robin: Oh, come on, Dick’s a grown man. He can take care of himself.
Red Hood: *opens the refrigerator to reveal a bottle of curdy milk, a half-eaten sandwich, and a bowl of soggy Cheerios*
Red Hood: *looking unimpressed* You really believe that?
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 