When you ask your adoptive son how you can make up for all those lost years and he eagerly pulls out the new “Batman: Arkham Knight” game…
Jason: In the hunky robotic suit with adorable pointy ears, with a record of 48 wins and no losses, the undisputed champ of this Manor, the amazeballs Jason Todd! *whistles and cheers*
Bruce: Hn.
Jason: And in the black, leather BatSpanx, with a record of zero wins and 48 defeats – oh, correction, humiliating defeats, all of them by –
Bruce: Must you do this every time?
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
That he must, Bats. That he must.
Tag: jason todd
When you have occasional alliances with rogues with doctorates…
Harley Quinn: First of all, Bats, let me assure ya that Jason’s antics are perfectly normal for a sixteen-year-old (who, ya know, came back from the dead).
Batman: Actually, he’s nineteen, Harleen.
Harley Quinn: Oh, dear. Dear, dear, dear, dear, dear.
Robin: Todd, I’m going to jump off this skyscraper.
Red Hood: You know, kid, as the only adult here, I feel like I should say something.
Robin: What?
Red Hood: Cool!
Arsenal: Is it true that Batman has retractable fangs?
Red Hood:
Red Hood: Yes.
At a Justice League mission briefing…
Batman: Any questions?
Red Hood: *yelling from the back* Why’re you such a poopy head?
Red Robin [whispering to Superboy]: That’s why he gets timeouts.
Visiting your best friend’s hometown be like…
Arsenal: *on the phone* Dude, I need help finding this place –
Red Hood: Follow the gunshots.
Arsenal: Copy that.
DC: Robin! I need to use you in a story arc.
Robin: You want me to be in the series?
DC: It’s just a few panels. Your predecessor’s supposed to be in ‘em, but he’s dead.
Robin: Dead?!
DC: Or pretending to be. I don’t know. I forget.
DC: Robin! I need to use you in a story arc.
Robin: You want me to be in the series?
DC: It’s just a few panels. Your predecessor’s supposed to be in ‘em, but he’s dead.
Robin: Dead?!
DC: Or pretending to be. I don’t know. I forget.
When your little brother leaves you in charge of his pets while he’s away on a Teen Titans mission…
Red Hood: *strokes Titus behind the ears* Classy dog.
Robin: Yes. Also, don’t forget to close the toilet or he’ll drink out of it.
Red Hood [to Titus]: *whispering* I feel for ya, big buddy. I have a crazy father figure, too.
Infiltrating a top secret government facility…
Red Hood: Why are you sitting in the stairwell?
Robin: Grayson told me to stay.
Red Hood: Oh.
Red Hood: *pats his head* Well, good boy.
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