If you’re a criminal in Gotham City, this is your cue to run…
Red Hood: I don’t want to kill you, and you don’t want to be dead.
Tag: jason todd
When the Lazarus Pit messes with your mind…
Jason: Actually, I don’t remember being born. It must have happened during one of my blackouts.
Imagine: Grown-up Damian to Jason in a Batfamily “The Godfather” AU.
When a sleep-deprived Tim trips and rolls down the Manor stairs and spills coffee all over his Superboy t-shirt…
Tim: …
Jason: *smirks*
Jason: *tries to stifle a laugh*
Tim: What is your problem? Does seeing me fail somehow make you feel better about your sad, miserable life?
Jason: *wipes tears off eyes*
Jason: It does, 100%.
When his older brothers piss him off…
Damian: Note to self: investigate legal ramifications of impaling adoptive brothers.
Why the rest of the Batfamily sometimes find it pointless to ask how his day went..
Jason: It’s not in my nature to be mysterious, but I can’t talk about it and I can’t talk about why.
Dramatic post-bro-falling-out reunions be like…
Roy [to Jason]: You don’t know how long it took me to get to this place. To where I look at you and feel… nothing.
When asked why he hasn’t started dating yet…
Jason: You see how picky I am about my guns, and those only go on my holsters.
Jason [to Dick]: Do you prefer “fashion victim” or “ensemble-y challenged”?
Giving brotherly dating advice…
Jason [about Zoanne]: Option One: ask her out.
Tim: Impossible.
Jason: Fair enough. Option Two: become her friend.
Tim: She’s the most popular girl in school and she hates boys.
Jason: Okay. Option Three: kidnap her and keep her tied up in your room until she agrees to marry you.
Tim: It’s a route I’ve considered.
Jason: …
Jason: And quite rightly rejected on the grounds of…?
Tim: Hygiene.
–
Tim, no. Also, get enough sleep before you start contemplating these things.
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