Reviewing case files at the Batcave…

Robin: Credit card charges show mostly leather jackets, classic novels. Phone records indicate only one female caller in the last six months: a teammate.

Red Hood: I feel so sorry for this guy. He seems so alone.

Robin: Oh, whoops. That’s your old file, Todd.

Jason: So, uh… Bonfire with Artemis, huh?

Dick: *grins* Just telling her stories about your Robin days. How’re things between you guys?

Jason: They’re good. Good, good, good. Solid… Why, did she say something?

Dick: No. It’s just… She’s a beautiful woman fighting crime with you. I was afraid you’d let the lines get blurred and fall for her.

Jason: *scoffs* What, me, fall for Artemis? Please.

Artemis: *enters wearing a floral dress and twirls*

Artemis: Hey, boys. So, how do I look?

Jason: Good. Yeah, yeah. Real good. Red’s not really my color, so… *mumbles* Forgot my jacket… Or salmon, or whatever that is. *walks out of trailer*


Red’s not really your color? *smirks* (That “Red Hood and the Outlaws” annual, though.)

When your little brother reconfigures the newly installed, magnetic, handprint-activated steel doors at the Manor…

Jason: *trapped between the door and the wall*

Jason: Damian? Open the door, little buddy.

Tim: Open it, Damian.

Damian: -Tt-

Damian: *opens the outer door*

Jason: Okay. Nice, kid. Now, coud you open the one that’s currently chopping me in half?

Visiting Wayne Manor and encountering one of Batman’s sons be like…

Clark: Good morning, Jason. Have you seen Bruce?

Jason: Maybe.

Clark: Sooo… Is he around?

Jason: *shrugs* Could be.

Clark: Could you… find him for me?

Jason: Yeah, sure, I could. But wouldn’t it be more fulfilling for you if you did it yourself?


I guess you could just save yourself the frustration and use your X-ray vision, Clark… if the walls weren’t lined with lead.

Things you’d expect by now given the Robins’ lifestyle…

Red Robin: *cradling a bleeding foot*

Nightwing: You’re gonna be okay, Tim. A lot of people get by with nine toes.

Red Hood: I’m getting by fine with eight.

When Nightwing’s away, the other Robins will play…

Jason: *holding a bound, gagged, and very bored-looking Damian upside down* Permission to drop the little twerp into a deep, dark hole, Sir?

Tim: Granted.

Damian: -Tt-

Searching for Batman while he was trapped in the timestream be like…

Red Hood: Yeah, okay, so we didn’t find Bruce, but maybe we found a new dumpling house, huh? Huh?


See that glare your brothers are giving you? You’re not really helping, Jay.

Roy: You know, a couple’s first fight actually sets the tone for all future arguments. Trust me, I’m going through it right now myself.

Dick: You and Kori?

Roy: Nah. Me and Jason, actually.


Angsty zombie bros before beatiful alien girlfriends.