incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Mornings at the Manor…

Tim: I’m losing my mind, guys. I sometimes touch the frayed part of the power cord just to feel something.

Alfred: *swiftly takes a step to the side to hide a frayed wire jutting from the kitchen wall*

Jason: *carefully pries the mug of espresso off Tim’s pale, trembling fingers*

Damian: *stealthily moves the butter knife away from Tim’s grasp*

Dick: *grabs Tim’s face and buries it on his chest in a tight hug*

Bruce: *closes the Gotham Gazette, stands up, then fireman-carries his heavily sleep-deprived son up to his room*

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

When your sleep-deprived brother’s eager to meet his date to the Wayne Foundation gala…

Tam: *walks into the ballroom*

Tim: *clumsily smoothing down his suit* No! She’s here early! How do I look?

Jason: *eyeing Tim’s ruffled hair, bruised cheek, lopsided bowtie, half-untucked dress shirt and muddy patrol boots* It’s better if you didn’t know.

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Inviting your superfriends over for your safe-housewarming…

Arsenal: *talking on the phone* It’s our thing, Dick. Dudesgiving.

Red Hood: *unpacking weapons in the other room* Okay, no matter how many e-mails you send, that’s not real, Roy!

Arsenal: It’s real, man!

Red Hood: It’s not real! We’re not calling it that!

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Educating your sister about pop culture be like…

Jason [to Cass]: There was this movie, “Footloose” –

Tim: “Flashdance”.

Jason: Where this plumber chick –

Tim: She was a welder.

Jason: What, were you, like, in the movie?

~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~

Give him a break, Timmy. He was gone for a while, remember?

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Torn apart furniture. Food and some sort of ink (or is that blood?) smeared all over the walls and carpets. A scorched living room ceiling. Tim tries to explain what happened to a visiting Conner…   

Tim: It would take hours to explain the psychology of this event, so I’ll just simplify. 

Tim: *points at Damian* “Dynamite”. 

Tim: *points at Jason* “Kid with matches”.

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

When Batman (inexplicably) asks Hellblazer to watch over his sons while he’s away on a mission…

Nightwing: *comes in through the front door of the Manor*

Hellblazer: Ah, the Golden Boy has returned. Release the doves!  

Nightwing: Hi, Mr. Constantine.  

Red Hood: *breaks a window in the foyer and climbs in*

Hellblazer: And you must be the second Robin. I have been thoroughly briefed on you and if you do one thing wrong, I’m going to go medieval on your arse.