Tag: jason todd

Red Robin: *crouching behind the giant coin in the Batcave*

Nightwing: *walks in*

Red Robin: *to his walkie-talkie* The Hug Machine is here. I repeat, the Hug Machine is here. Smiling on all cylinders.

The rest of the Batfamily: *temporarily stop brooding to find hiding places*  

Dick tends to get in the way of angst and sadness.

At the Annual Justice League Talent Competition… 

Robin: *watches his brothers performing onstage* 

Robin: That is my band. I didn’t recognize them without me because I’m the only one that matters.

And this is why they kicked you out, Dami.   

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Undercover mission at a Gotham City home for the elderly…

Tim: *whispering* I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to have a weapon in a place full of old people.

Jason: *whispering back* Literally everything is a weapon, Tim. These dentures in my hand are far deadlier than that staff on your back.      

In which Jason realizes what he just said, drops the dentures, and squeals like a little girl, almost blowing their cover.

Batman: *studying a case on the Batcomputer*

Nightwing: *parkour-ing from giant memento to giant memento in the Batcave*

Red Hood: *aiming at the bats with his guns (”What? For target practice!”)*

Red Robin: *rambles on about his Multiverse theories to Bruce while dragging around an IV stand with a pouch of pure liquid caffeine* 

Batgirl: *taking a selfie while Spoiler braids her hair*

Robin: *approaching Alfred with Batcow in tow (”I need more pet food, Pennyworth.”)*

Lark: *Snapchatting everyone while ducking to avoid Dick (”Typical Tuesdays”)*

Batman: *finds it hard to focus, stops typing*

Batman: *looks at the chaos that is his children*

Alfred: *serves Bruce some tea*

Batman: Alfred, this is like a waking nightmare of happiness.

Alfred: *grins and walks away*

Orphan: *hugs Bruce’s neck from behind*

Batman: *grins as his daughter skips away to join the fray*

At a candy store…

Clerk: Oh, we don’t accept… *carefully examines bill* “Bat-dollars”, sir.

Damian: That is the most powerful piece of paper in the world! Of course you’ll accept it. Accept it.

In which it dawns on Damian that his brothers have been shi**ing him the whole time (and that Jason and Tim better hide – and hide well – if they want to stay alive).   

When your adoptive father reprimands you for blowing up yet another hometown monument…

Red Hood [to Batman]: Look, am I proud of it? Yes, because Gotham City sucks. Is it the classiest move? Yes, because Gotham City sucks. Would I do it again? Yes, because Gotham City sucks.

But you know you love it anyway, Jay.   

GCPD Officer: First name?

Red Hood: Jason.

GCPD Officer: Last name?

Red Hood: Done.

GCPD Officer: Is that your name or are you telling me that you’re finished talking?

Red Hood: Both.

GCPD Officer: Huh. Done and Done.

Undercover mission at a Gotham City home for the elderly…

Tim: *whispering* I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to have a weapon in a place full of old people.

Jason: *whispering back* Literally everything is a weapon, Tim. These dentures in my hand are far deadlier than that staff on your back.