Damian: Drake.
Tim: Brat. The bet ends today. Are you ready?
Damian: I was born ready.
Tim: To lose? The whole question was, “Are you ready to lose?” and you said you were born that way.
Damian: Twist my words all you want.
Tim: Okay.
Damian: I’m winning this bet.
Jason: What bet? What’re you guys talking about?
Dick: Seriously? The bet? They’ve been keeping score all year. It comes up all the time. What are you doin’ all day?
Jason: Nothin’. Why, you wanna hang out?
Tag: jason todd
Welcoming 2018 in the Manor be like…
Dick: Starting tomorrow, there’s going to be twice as much love in this house as there is now!
Jason: We’re going to start it in the morning?!
On the last day of March, thirty minutes before midnight…
Somewhere on the Manor grounds…
Robin [on the Comm Link]: *sounds of rustling leaves and scraping metals in the background* You’re going down, Todd. I’m going to fool you!
Red Hood: *stuffing a sack with batarangs and Damian’s underwear* You talk better than you fool, kid.
Robin [on the Comm Link]: Oh, I will fool you up real nice.
Red Hood: You couldn’t fool your cleverest brother on the fooling-est day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
In which, as tradition goes, Alfred already has the Batcave’s surgical bay ready in time for the first of April.
If Damian came to the Manor as a baby…
Dick: *sniffs*
Tim: Who’s gonna change the little brat?
Jason: We’re going to let him roam free in the backyard and nature will take its course.
GCPD Officer: It’s time for a cavity search.
Red Hood: Oh, I haven’t had a cavity search in six months.
GCPD Officer: I wasn’t talking about your teeth.
Red Hood: Nor was I.
When Batman’s sons come over to your city and you hear about it at work…
Lois: Hey, Smallville. There are a few developments. You might want to make some room on the front page.
Clark: *raises an eyebrow*
No need to worry, Superman. It’s just your nephews wreaking havoc on some Gotham City criminals who thought they could hide out in Metropolis.
Robin: *sneaking out of the Manor at midnight*
Jason: *turns a lamp on*
Jason: *sitting in the dark with his legs crossed and a novel on his lap* Where are you going, Brat?
Robin: -Tt-
Robin: I don’t know.
Jason: When will you be home?
Robin: I’m not sure.
Jason: Where are you going?
Robin: You already asked me that, Todd!
Jason: Will you bring me back something?
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
This is why you’re secretly Dami’s favorite older brother sometimes, Jay.
Batman’s twilight years be like…
Tim: Bruce, you shouldn’t wear glasses that weren’t prescribed for you.
Bruce: Hn. Dick, just because you’re ten feet tall, it doesn’t mean that you can tell me what to do.
Jason: I’m Jason.
Tim: Gimme those!
DC: Robin! I need to use you in a story arc.
Robin: You want me to be in the series?
DC: It’s just a few panels. Your predecessor’s supposed to be in ‘em, but he’s dead.
Robin: Dead?!
DC: Or pretending to be. I don’t know. I forget.
Damian: Todd, I’m starting to worry about Father.
Jason: Well, I know he seems to get more broody ever year, but lately he’s plateaued.
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