Mornings at the Manor…
Jason: *munching on strawberry-flavored Poptarts*
Tim: *staring blankly ahead*
Jason: *waves a hand in front of his brother’s face*
Tim:
Jason: *snaps his fingers*
Tim:
Jason: *tips the big mug of coffee over, spilling its contents*
Tim: *slowly turns his head to face Jason*
Jason: You’re being so quiet. Are you upset or are you just rebooting?
Tag: jason todd
Batfather’s Day…
Batman: *opens a blood-stained greeting card with a bullet hole in the middle*
Red Hood [on the Comm Link]: Did you see the hearts? It took me, like, six minutes.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
In which Alfred gets teary-eyed from seeing the biggest grin he’s seen on his son’s face in years (and the card he himself got from his grandson).
Because it’s almost that time of the year.
Dick: I can’t believe Tim’s sleeping.
Jason: I had the Little Brat give him two Valiums.
Dick: Why? Was he in a lot of pain?
Jason: Nah. He just wouldn’t shut up.
Damian: Is it okay if I do it for Grayson and not you?
Tim: Yeah.
Damian: Because I really like Grayson.
Jason: We know.
After bailing your son out of jail…
Batman: Jason, I told you to walk away. I told you to give a fake name.
Red Hood: I did, thanks very much. I’m Chareth Cutestory, a pirate lawyer. It was airtight.
Tim: *slumped on the Batcomputer keyboard*
Jason: Just to be clear: looks like he’s dead. Is he dead?
Dick: It just looks like he’s dead. He’s got, like, coffee stains on him or something. But he’s going to be fine.
Red Hood: *arrives at his top-secret safe house* Hello, safe hou –
Red Hood:
Tim: *on Jason’s bed, looking like he hasn’t slept for three days straight, still wearing his muddy patrol boots, and typing at 200 words-per-minute on his laptop*
Red Hood: What are you doing?
Tim: Oh, um, I got tired of trying to find my safe house, so I just set up shop here.
Red Hood: Oh. Okay. That’s not weird.
Family Patrol Night…
Batman: *smells a handprint on the wall*
Batman: *narrows eyes* Hn.
Red Hood [to Nightwing]: *whispering* Is it just me, or is our dad a freakin’ weirdo?
Jason: Hey, Alf, could you pass me that can of beer?
Alfred: Master Jason, it’s breakfast.
Jason: … And a piece of toast?
Preparing for Family Patrol Night…
Robin: *adjusting Goliath’s leash* What, Todd, for the first time ever, doesn’t want to do this?
Nightwing: *stuffing cereal packets into strategic places in his suit* No, no, he does. It’s just that he’s been so mopey.
Red Robin: *checking the coordinates of a supervillain’s lair on the Batcomputer* Well, that could have something to do with the fact that today’s his death anniversary.
Nightwing: I don’t know what it is.
Red Robin: I think that’s what it is.
Robin: -Tt- Who knows with him?
Red Robin: *looks into the camera like he’s on “The Office”*
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 