Tag: jason todd

Watching from a rooftop as the GCPD pick up the group of notorious criminals who they’ve just tied up and left in the middle of the street…

Robin: *elbowing his brother’s hip (since he can’t reach his rib)* You’re a good fighter, Todd.

Red Hood: *returning the affection with a pat on the shoulder* Not as good as you.

Robin: That’s very true. So get out of here.

Giving your brother a tour of your “nest” be like…

Tim: *gesturing vaguely towards what may or may not be a kitchen counter* I still have my coffee machine from Kon.

Jason: *lifting a leg up to avoid stepping on a scurrying rat* Do you even have a mattress?

Tim: *fishing out a box of Pop-Tarts from a pile of clothes on the floor* No, but I still have my coffee machine from Kon. 

Damian: -Tt-

Dick: Be nice, Little D.

Damian: Pathetic.

Jason: *does an “Abort! Abort!” gesture with his hand*

Damian: Unworthy.

Tim: *smirking and whispering to me* Just ignore him.

Damian: *to his brothers, indignant* Why do they get all the credit?

Me: Wha– Hey, it’s not like I don’t tag my sources! Besides it’s your family that they all really come here for. Right, @siriuslyimmortal? Tell ‘em, tell – @siriuslyimmortal?

Alfred: *leading @siriuslyimmortal out of the Batcave* As I’ve told you many a time, young masters, this is not how we treat our guests. Now, if you’ll excuse us, a tour of the Manor awaits. As does your father, who will be much amused to hear about this little incident.

Dick: *cheerfully* You can stay in my room! I’ve got all kinds of memorabilia from the sixties, which was a pretty interesting decade for Batman and me, but –

Jason: *backhand-slaps Dick on the chest* Lame. I have Collector’s Editions of novels from the eighteenth century on the floor-to-ceiling shelves in my room –

Tim: *elbows Jason in the ribs* Uh, you living away from us makes it mine, Jay, which also makes it the safest of the Robin rooms –

Damian: *pushes Tim aside* Do not subject yourself to the foul odors of their substandard quarters, @siriuslyimmortal! They cannot offer you the company of my beloved pets – 

Alfred: *shuts the grandfather clock behind him*  

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Snapchats at the Manor…

Camera: *focuses on what looks like a leather seat, then on buttons with bat symbols on them, then on something glinting red*

Red Hood: *places his phone on the dashboard, takes off his helmet, winks at the camera, then bites into a Big Belly Burger* It’s Wednesday. Sometimes I eat in Batman’s car. Don’t tell him.

After proposing his strategy for capturing a supervillain to the family…

Red Hood: *smiles smugly and lights up a cigarette*

Nightwing: Jay, you’re brilliant!

Red Hood: *takes a drag* Of course I am. Why is everyone always surprised by that?

Nightwing: *picks the least tattered Robin uniform in a box marked “good ol’ days” and gleefully drops it on the floor in the middle of the living room*

Red Hood: *unloads his handgun and drops a bullet on top of Dick’s uniform*

Red Hood: *faces Tim and does a “gimme” hand gesture at him*

Red Robin: *shakes his head no and hugs his chest tightly*

Red Hood: *attempts to wrestle a packet of coffee out of Tim’s bearhug* Timbo, let it go, dude. It makes, like, one cup.

Batman: *carries Damian by the scruff of his cape and puts him down at the middle of the pile*

Alfred: *rushes in, grabs Damian by the hand and leads him away from it* Absolutely not, Master Bruce!

Robin: *sulking* -Tt-

@biggiepiggie44: *staring at the pile of… what in the… ?*

Red Hood: *wiping sweat off his forehead and heaving* One what, @biggiepiggie44?

Red Robin: *lying facedown on the floor*

Red Robin: *muffled* Yeah, you’re gonna have to be more specific.

Batman: *walks in on his children speaking in hushed tones and huddled by the Batcomputer, with Tim at the helm*

Red Hood: Dudes, what makes you think the old man’s not gonna know that we used his tech to do this?

Nightwing: If he does find out, I’ll handle it, okay? Aren’t you guys even the least bit curious of how many by now?

The Signal: Well, okay, I guess I am now. Let’s do this.

Robin: Father is going to be disappointed at this idiocy.

Red Robin: Pssh. Like that’s stopping you. Besides, this is the only computer on this Earth that can log on to Tumb–

Red Robin: I just got goosebumps. Guys, why did I just get goosebumps? And why isn’t anyone talking to me? Guys?

Red Robin: *slowly turns his seat*

Batman: *with narrowed eyes* Hrrrn.

Nigthwing: *smiling sheepishly* Heyyyy Bruuuuce…

Red Hood: *covering his mouth to stifle his giggling*

The Signal: We – we were just – uhhh –

Robin: I warned them, Father!

Red Robin: Why, you little – *lunges at Damian*

Nightwing: *jumps in to break Tim and Damian apart*

The Signal: *runs to the kitchen to get Alfred*

Red Hood: *takes out his phone and starts recording everything*

Batman:

Batman: *walks past his sons’ wrestling match to the Batcomputer*

Batman: *enters the password to the Tumblr account and looks at the number of followers*

Batman: Hn.

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Your overwhelming support for this blog has gotten them excited, too.

With much appreciation,

a-wayne-at-heart/incorrect-batfamily-quotes

Alfred: *walks into the Batcave with a tray of cookies*

Alfred: *stands still as a black-haired boy excitedly runs past him and out of the cave carrying a Robin uniform*

Bruce: I’m just trying to prepare him.

Alfred: For what, therapy?