Red Hood [to Batman]: Why do you ruin everything with your words?!
Red Hood: *storms out of the Batcave*
Batman:
Alfred: *walking in with a tray of cookies* …?
Batman:
Batman: I told him, “Take care out there, son”.
Tag: jason todd
Bizarro: Why Red Him and Red Her being not weird?
Red Hood: Artemis and I kissed –
Bizarro: WHAT!?!
Artemis: To keep our cover from being blown, we didn’t have a choice –
Bizarro: *hugging Pup-Pup cheerfully* Tell. Bizarro. Not EVERYTHING!!!
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
(In which this could’ve been Steph, Dick and Babs, or Dick, Tim and Steph, but somehow I thought of the Outlaws. *shrugs*)
When your adoptive father has trust issues with your crimefighting methods…
Red Hood: *running through a dark alley*
Red Hood: *stops abruptly and catches his breath*
Red Hood: *rolls his eyes at his little brother, who’s in the Batjet hovering above him* I don’t need to be monitored all day long, brat. I’m not a toddler. This is stupid.
Robin [on the Comm Link]: I know you’re not, Todd, because toddlers would know that “stupid” is a no-no word.
Red Hood: *peeks from behind a crate at a group of burly men in state-of-the-art armor guarding the warehouse entrance*
Red Hood: *whispering* How are we going to get past them without a gun fight?
Red Robin: *studying a digital blueprint of the warehouse* I’ll tell you how John McClane would do it: the vents.
Red Hood: *stuffs his revolvers back into their holsters and nods enthusiastically* Blast the A/C, they get chilly, they leave to find sweaters.
Red Robin:
Red Robin: No. We’re going to climb through them.
Red Hood: Even better! Classic use of vents.
If the Batboys had entrance music when they entered a battlefield…
DICK’s would be “Death of a Bachelor” by Panic! At the Disco…
JASON’s, “Heathens” by twenty one pilots…
TIM’s, “Basketcase” by Green Day…
And, DAMIAN’s, “The Imperial March” by John Williams.
Oh, yeah, with Dick being Nightwing, and Jason, Red Hood.
Mornings at the Manor (and Alfred’s on vacation)…
Tim: Jay, the frying pan is on fire!
Jason: Son of Jor-El! Everybody stay calm!
Mornings at the Manor…
Jason: *scurrying around the kitchen, opening and closing cupboards, looking under kitchen counters and chairs*
Tim: *typing on his laptop, drinking pure liquid caffeine*
Jason: I have to tell you something. When we fell on really hard times, Roy and I stayed at a rat-infested motel for a month, and I developed a deep-seated fear of rats.
Tim: *not looking away from laptop* I am so sorry to hear about that. I understand your fears and I validate them.
Jason: I’m not looking for your understanding, Tim! Just grab the freakin’ rat!
Mornings at the Manor…
Damian: *staring out the kitchen window*
Damian: *grins to himself*
Alfred: Master Damian, your food’s ready.
Jason: No, no, what are you doing? He’s both happy and quiet. It’s like seeing a unicorn and Bigfoot at the same time.
Mornings at the Manor…
3:30 AM…
Jason: *yawns*
Jason: *turns on kitchen light*
Jason: *heads to the refrigerator to get some milk*
Jason: You’re up early.
Tim: *hanging upside down from the ceiling*
Tim: *staring blankly ahead*
Tim: That would be assuming that I went to sleep.
Mornings at the Manor…
Bruce: *e-mailing the Justice League while discussing Wayne Tech plans with Lucius on the phone*
Dick: *stealthily picking blueberries off the pancakes on the serving tray while dangling upside down from the ceiling*
Alfred: *slapping Dick’s hand away while preparing Tim’s morning espresso shots*
Jason: *holding up a bag of catfood so it’s out of Damian’s reach*
Damian: *on his tippy toes trying to reach it while muttering censor-worthy threats to Jason*
Tim: *eyelids drooping and eyes red, wiping dried-up slobber off his face* How long was I out? Is Napster still a thing?
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Who’s gonna tell him?
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