Why it sometimes takes forever for Batman’s sons to finish their meals (much to Alfred’s chagrin)…
Robin: *staring at a utensil on the dining table* All of my instincts and my training are telling me to use this like a weapon.
– • – • – • – • –
This is me going out on a limb here and assuming that this family still takes the time to eat.
Red Hood: I’m a fixer, Dick. It’s what I do.
Nightwing: You’re good. We should hang out more –
Red Hood: Stop trying to bond with me.
“Ric” Grayson: I browned out that evening.
Jason: Browned out? What’s “browned out”?
“Ric”: It’s when you drink so much that everything goes brown. It’s not as severe as a blackout because I remember bits and pieces. I call it browning out.
Jason: *face-palms*
Red Hood: We’re trying to piece together a night and we need your help.
“Ric” Grayson: I don’t remember that night.
Red Robin: We didn’t tell you which night yet.
“Ric”: *shrugs* I don’t remember most evenings.
Robin: *exasperated sigh*
Nightwing [on the Comm Link]: *on his motorcycle, tailing them* Did you two just push Tim out of the moving Batmobile and yell, “You’re out of the team”?!
Red Hood: Now, in hindsight, that does seem kind of rash.
Robin: *pulling into a Batburger drive-through* It was kind of a snap decision.
Batman: Animals should be food, rugs and trophies. Why do you think I’m wearing a leather suit?
Red Hood: That’s leather? I thought it was plastic.
Batman: Who in the world wears a plastic suit, Jason?
Red Hood: *shrugs* I just don’t question the things you do anymore.
On a mission in Gotham City be like…
Arsenal: I hate this town, Jaybird! I hate this town!
Red Hood: It’s understandable. You are missing a piece of your scalp.
Discussing your tiny bully of a brother be like…
Jason: Gee, ya think? I mean, I’ve only seen him give you, like, a hundred eye rolls.
Tim: *throws hands up in exasperation* Thank you! I know! It’s like, “Hi, would you like some butter with your eye rolls?”.
Jason: I know! It’s like, “Don’t fill up on eye rolls, Little Brat. Save room for dinner!”.
Damian: *a pair of glinting eyes in the shadows*
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Oh, you two are really gonna get it bad this time.
Jason: *shakes head* Why are you like this?
Tim: *wearing a cowboy hat and riding on the giant dinosaur’s head in the Batcave* Caffeine, baby!
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