Roy [to Jason]: For a dead guy, you look awfully healthy.
Jason: *in John Mulaney’s voice* That’s the thing I’m sensitive about!
Tag: incorrect rhato quotes
Mornings at the Manor…
Tim: *wakes up, yawns, stretches, sees “3:30” on his phone clock*
Tim: …
Tim: Uh. What are you doing here?
Roy: *bruised, bloodied, in a tattered Arsenal uniform, and perched on the window sill*
Roy: Your brother’s gonna wake up mad at me. When he does, be sure to remind him who his best friend is.
Arsenal: I have an idea…
Red Hood: Go on.
Arsenal: It’s deceptive and borderline unethical…
Red Hood: I’m listening.
Why you don’t try to psychoanalyze your best friend…
Roy: What’re you afraid of, Jaybird?
Jason: I’m afraid of what I’m gonna do to you if you don’t shut up.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
And don’t tell me that Roy didn’t ask this while lying belly down on Jason’s bed with his chin propped up by both hands and his bent legs crisscrossing in the air.
Imagine: Jason/Red Hood and Roy/Arsenal, and you get to decide who’s who.
Jason: You can call me… anything you want. *wiggles eyebrows*
Artemis: How about “Totally Inappropriate”?
Preparing to jump a gang of mobsters be like…
Red Hood: Okay. On three. One. Two –
Arsenal: Why don’t we just go on two?
Red Hood: Why two?
Arsenal: Because it’s faster.
Red Hood: You know, I could’ve counted to three, like, four times without all this “two” talk!
Arsenal: All right, but in the future…
Red Hood: Okay. One. Two –
Arsenal: So are we going on two?
Visiting your best friend’s hometown be like…
Arsenal: *on the phone* Dude, I need help finding this place –
Red Hood: Follow the gunshots.
Arsenal: Copy that.
Jason: *picks up a piece of paper by the phone*
Jason: Timbo, what’s this? A phone message?
Tim: Yeah. Some dude called for you.
Jason: Who? I can’t read your handwriting.
Tim: *reads the message out loud* “You’re a big, selfish jerk.”
Jason: Okay, I know who it is.
Tim: Probably Roy.
Jason: Yup, Roy.
Red Hood: *trying to catch his breath* Roy, you texted me “911”! What’s the emergency?!
Arsenal: *holding up a picture of Red Hood and Bizarro at a superhero party together* Uh, well, our friendship’s in danger!
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 