Because three’s a crowd in a safe house…
Koriand’r: Why don’t you just ask Jason to take off for the evening so we can have some alone time?
Roy: Because we have a weird codependent relationship and I’m scared of hurting his feelings.
Roy: But, what you said.
Guess who’s the third wheel, Kori?
When your best friend’s still salty about you bungling the previous night’s mission…
Roy: Jason cooked me a whole breakfast, and then put it in the trash while I watched.
When you’re your best friend’s keeper (just not a particularly good one, at that)…
Jason [about Roy]: He’s got them stashed all over the safe house like an alcoholic! I found one in the bookcase, right behind my vodka.
When you’re your best friend’s keeper…
Jason: *enters the safe house and accidentally steps on some beer cans on the floor*
Jason: Are you drinking?
Roy: Just the occasional glass with dinner.
Jason: Huh. And how many dinners have you had today?
Roy: Three. So far.
“How to Get Kicked Out of the Safe House” by Roy Harper…
Roy: *approaches Jason’s bed at 2 AM*
Jason: You’re wearing pajama bottoms, right?
Roy: Shh…
Jason: Exactly how drunk are you?!
Roy: *spoons Jason*
Roy: Both questions asked and answered.
Roy: Is this lifestyle actually making you happy?
Jason: Let me answer that question with another question: Who would you rather be, you or me?
Roy: You’re kidding, right? You have two black eyes, and you’re perched on a scrotum cozy…
Roy: You.
Arsenal: Uh-oh. We’ve got a real problem here.
Red Hood: What do you mean “we”?
Red Hood: *walks away*
Batman: Roy, I need you to do me a favor.
Arsenal: Anything for you, Mr. Wayne, sir. Name it.
Batman: Stay away from Jason.
Arsenal: Name something else.
Roy: What time?
Jason: Eight.
Roy: O’clock?
Jason: *rolls eyes* No, degrees.
Jason: *picks up a piece of paper by the phone*
Jason: Timbo, what’s this? A phone message?
Tim: Yeah. Some dude called for you.
Jason: Who? I can’t read your handwriting.
Tim: *reads the message out loud* “You’re a big, selfish jerk.”
Jason: Okay, I know who it is.
Tim: Probably Roy.
Jason: Yup, Roy.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 