Superman: Bruce, just relax.
Batman: Why?
Superman: I don’t know. No one’s ever asked me that before.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Because of the few things Batman seems incapable of, relaxing is among the top five.
Tag: incorrect justice league quotes
When asked by the rest of the Justice League why they frequently go on missions without them…
Batman: Clark and I work because we keep an emotional distance.
Meanwhile, Superman: *looking at him with sad, puppy dog eyes*
Batman: *walks into the Hall of Justice*
Green Lantern (Kyle) to The Flash (Wally): I am equal parts scared and fascinated.
Missions with Batman (or, more appropriately, Batman’s secret solo missions that the rest of the League somehow get wind of) be like…
Superman: I called for backup. You gotta trust somebody, Bruce.
Batman: *internally pouting like a baby, but relieved much deeper inside*
Green Lanten: It’s a mess. You must feel horrible! You’ve lost everything. Your parents, your sons, your city…
Batman: *gritting teeth* Thank you for summing that up, Jordan.
Evenings in the Batcave…
Batman: *typing on the Batcomputer*
Red Robin: *tuning up the Redbird*
Batman: Fart.
Red Robin:
Red Robin: Uh…
Red Robin: Did you say “fart”?
Batman: Yes. That’s me being rather silly.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
And, to this day, no one believes Tim.
Superman: *fighting Parademons on Apokolips*
Superman:
Superman: *chuckles* Fart.
~ • ~ • ~ •
I mean if Clark can canonically single out Bruce’s heartbeat while flying over earth, I think he can hear him say “Fart”.
Green Lantern (Hal) [to Batman]: I just figured out your superpower! You can irritate people to death.
After interrogating a criminal mastermind together…
Superman: *wriggling his eyebrows* How was my “bad cop”?
Batman: You were unbelievable.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Literally, Clark. Bruce couldn’t believe you as a “bad cop”. Nor could he believe that he agreed to let you play one.
Batman: *announces his engagement to Catwoman at a Justice League meeting*
Green Lantern: *whispering* I’ll put twenty-five dollars on the wedding being cancelled.
Green Arrow: *whispering back* Fifty says it’s cancelled before the sun goes down.
On speaker phone with The Flash and about to discuss the scientific details of a case…
Batman: This is Batman.
Green Lantern: *yelling from across the Batcave while checking out the Batjet* And Hal, so speak English!
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 