Tag: incorrect justice league quotes

When you visit an old friend and decide to check out one of the city’s “local destinations”…

At the Iceberg Lounge…

Attractive Young Woman: So, you rich or something?

Hal: I’m not Bruce Wayne-rich, but I do okay.

Superman: *grabs a pair of swimming shorts from a duffel bag*

Superman: *starts removing his suit*  

Superman: *pauses*

Batman: Hn.

Superman: *sighs*

Superman: We’re only on our third “the world is screwed” issue in, what, three years?

~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~

Yeah, Bruce. Live a little. Also, start packing. You need to teleport back to earth – preferably to the Caribbean – before sundown. 

Superman: *grabbing a pair of swimming shorts from a duffel bag*

Superman: *starts removing his suit*  

Superman: *pauses*

Batman: Hn.

Superman: *sighs*

Superman: We’re only on our third “the world is screwed” issue in, what, three years?

Yeah, Bruce. Live a little. Also, start packing. You need to teleport back to earth – preferably to the Caribbean – before sundown. 

Superman: *watching the Gotham News Network channel on the Batcomputer* Sheesh. Can’t we get the news without the drama?

Batman: *working on a case* Can’t we get you without the flannel?

Wha – He’ll have you know that it happens to be a very practical and comfortable fashion choice on the farm, thank you.

Patrolling with your best friend be like…

Superman: I just need you to not do that thing you do.

Batman: Hn. What thing? I don’t do a “thing”, Clark.

Superman: Yes, you do! You get all mean and you make that broody face, Bruce!

Yes, Damian and Jon, this is how your fathers behave when they’re not busy lecturing you on propriety.

Bats, Lanterns, and League meetings…

Green Lantern (Simon): *sits down after watching Batman do the same*

Green Lantern (Hal): *rolls his eyes at him*

Simon: He just sat down. What am I suppose to do? He’s the boss.

Hal: No, he’s not!

Simon: He isn’t? Dang it, I cannot figure out who the boss of this team is!

But, to be safe, we usually assume it’s Bruce, so…

Superman: *whispering to Wonder Woman* If I had a dollar for every person I couldn’t hang out with because they didn’t like Batman, I’d be rich. Like fill-my-tractor-tank-up-all-the-way rich.

Meanwhile….

Batman: *turning off his earpiece* Hn.

~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~

He may not have super hearing, but your best friend’s got super surveillance equipment, Clark.

The Flash: My life expectancy is at ninety years. My life is more than a third over.

Batman: Want to trade?

Because it really does seem that Bruce’s life expectancy is infinity. (Also, you could just keep traveling back in time, Bar.)