When the Justice League get stranded on a power-dampening island…
The Flash: This isn’t Gilligan’s Island! We can’t just take a couple of coconuts and make a dialysis machine.
Batman:
Tag: incorrect justice league quotes
Looking for the last surviving box of Twinkies in the Watchtower be like…
Green Lantern: Batman! You’ve got to break Bats. Superman tells him everything.
The Flash: Those tiny ears hold so many secrets.
Really. Of all the superheroes you’re gonna attempt to get to gossip it’s Batman. Really.
When your super best friend could give Saran wrap a lesson…
Batman: *ignores vibrations coming from his pocket*
Wonder Woman: How many times a day does Clark text you?
Batman: Hrrrn.
Batman: Just… 40.
Superman: Bruce and I text every day. 😁
Wonder Woman: Really? 🤔
Superman: Well, I text every day, and sometimes he texts back. 🤷♂
Superman: Bruce, you are the only person in the Watchtower allowed to be raggedly honest because I know I can’t stop you.
After interrogating a criminal mastermind together…
Superman: *wriggling his eyebrows* How was my “bad cop”?
Batman: You were unbelievable.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Literally, Clark. Bruce couldn’t believe you as a “bad cop”. Nor could he believe that he agreed to let you play one.
Green Lantern (Hal) [to Batman]: I just figured out your superpower! You can irritate people to death.
Evenings in the Batcave…
Batman: *typing on the Batcomputer*
Red Robin: *tuning up the Redbird*
Batman: Fart.
Red Robin:
Red Robin: Uh…
Red Robin: Did you say “fart”?
Batman: Yes. That’s me being rather silly.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
And, to this day, no one believes Tim.
Superman: *fighting Parademons on Apokolips*
Superman:
Superman: *chuckles* Fart.
~ • ~ • ~ •
I mean if Clark can canonically single out Bruce’s heartbeat while flying over earth, I think he can hear him say “Fart”.
Superman: You know you’re in trouble when Batman thinks you’re in trouble.
Dining out with your best friend be like…
Bruce [to waiter]: I will have a glass of your oakiest chardonnay, please.
Clark: And I will have a waffle with your maple-iest syrup.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 