When you’re trying to give your youngest son the “birds and bees” talk but your other sons want to stick around to see how it goes…
Bruce [to Damian]: *opens mouth to talk*
Bruce: *hears a camera shutter sound*
Bruce: Hn.
Bruce: *opens mouth to talk again*
Bruce: *notices the reflection of three heads peeking from a crevice in the cave on the Batcomputer screen*
Bruce [to Damian]: Oh, good, everyone’s in here. I was worried we’d have a private conversation for once.
A voice from the crevice: You’re welcome, Bruce!
Tag: incorrect batfamily quotes
If Damian came to the Manor as a baby…
Dick: *sniffs*
Tim: Who’s gonna change the little brat?
Jason: We’re going to let him roam free in the backyard and nature will take its course.
Batman: *lying on a gurney in the Batcave*
Superman: Is he well enough for me to start mothering him unbearably, Alfred?
Alfred: Hmm. Better let him rest up a while first.
Jason: Hey, Alfred, where’s Bruce?
Alfred: Master Bruce is… resting.
Jason: Resting “brooding? Resting “shot through the timestream by Omega Beams”? Come on, help me out here.
At the Titans Tower…
Robin [about the rest of the Teen Titans]: *muttering angrily* I’ll show them who’s “just a kid”!
Nightwing: *yelling from the room across the hall* Damian, bedtime! I laid out your jammy-jams!
Old, old, old and still as stubborn as ever…
Dick: Bruce, you shouldn’t wear glasses that weren’t prescribed for you.
Bruce: Dick, just because you’re ten feet tall, it doesn’t mean you can tell me what to do.
Tim: I’m Tim.
Dick: Gimme those!
Why Dick is Damian’s favorite older brother…
Tim [about Damian]: In a way, I think we learned more from him than he learned from us.
Jason: Well, obviously. Because we taught him nothing.
Nightwing: *sees what Batman and Red Robin are up to* Tracking software? You’re spying on Damian!
Batman: Dick, keeping track of someone because you love them is not wrong. It shows you care.
[Scene cuts to Deathstroke on a nearby rooftop, listening in via a bugging device attached to the Batmobile]
Deathstroke: That’s right, my dear Dick Grayson. *sinister laugh* Soon, you’ll be mine.
[Scene cuts to two FBI agents in a surveillance truck]
FBI Agent #1: *observing Deathstroke via a spy camera* Keep talking, creepo.
FBI Agent #2: Every word buys you a year in the slammer.
On how he plans to celebrate Father’s Day…
Bruce: My sons are going to make me breakfast in bed.
Bruce: Well, actually, Alfred’s going to make the breakfast and I’m going to get in bed, but they’re going to bring it to me.
Red Hood: You still assume that I’m a terrorist!
Nightwing: If you’re not, I’m sorry. If you are, I’m a hero. I’m willing to take that chance.
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