When Damian Wayne gets acquainted with the pleasures of candy…
Damian: Two days until trick-or-treating. What am I supposed to eat until then, Pennyworth? Other food?
Tag: incorrect batfamily quotes
Dancing with your “fiancé” at a Wayne Enterprises gala be like…
Tam: I think your hand is supposed to be on my hip.
Tim: Right. Apparently I learned the girls’ part of this dance. Would you mind leading?
🐶
IMAGINE: Batman, after he finds out that Ace the Bathound helped the Batkids plant a tracker on him because they suspected that the reason he refused to bring any of them on family patrol night was so he could have some “alone time” with Catwoman.
“Hn. You betrayed me. You’ll explain yourself later. Return to the Batcave.”
When your best friend asks you if you’d want to get away from crimefighting in the city for a while and just hang out at his farm…
Superman: So… ?
Batman: *stares off into the distance*
Superman: Um, Bruce… ?
Batman: *breathes in the air like he’s smelling fresh flowers*
Batman: Spending the day far away sounds like a dream, Clark. I love being a father, but there are a few things I miss. Silence. The absence of noise. One single moment undisturbed by my children trying to kill each other.
Jason: *doing wheelies, stoppies, and burnouts*
Jason: *jumps while his motorcycle’s mid-air, does a backflip, then gets back on and lands gracefully in front of Tim*
Tim: *sips coffee* This morning I saw a YouTube video of a puppy riding a motorcycle, so my bar for stunning is pretty high.
Tim: Aaaarrrggh, you are such a sore loser, Damian!
Damian: I am not a sore loser, Drake. It’s just that I prefer to win, and when I don’t, I get furious.
Red Robin: *crouching behind the giant coin in the Batcave*
Nightwing: *walks in*
Red Robin: *to his walkie-talkie* The Hug Machine is here. I repeat, the Hug Machine is here. Smiling on all cylinders.
The rest of the Batfamily: *temporarily stop brooding to find hiding places*
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Dick tends to get in the way of angst and sadness.
When Alfred’s away on vacation and you’ve got to do the grocery shopping yourself…
Bruce [to clerk]: I would like twelve eggs…
Bruce: *tries to read Dick’s smudged handwriting on his palm* … and part of a dead animal. Dealer’s choice. Please and thank you.
When you teach your sons how to be financially responsible and ask them to present an account of their expenses…
Dick, Jason, Tim, and Damian *hand over haphazardly stacked pieces of paper*
Bruce: Hn.
Bruce: Most of these aren’t even receipts. This one says, “I bought a Robmobile, 2010″.
Tim: Jay, why did you take the blame?
Jason: I didn’t want you to wreck your life. You’ve got the brains and the talent to go as far as you want. And when you do, I’ll be right there to borrow money.
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