Barry: So, what’s Batman’s son like?
Hal: If Hannibal Lecter and Freddy Krueger had a lovechild, that kid would be afraid of Robin.
Tag: incorrect batfamily quotes
We all have that one brother…
Nightwing: *redialling Red Hood’s number for the sixteenth time in a row* Why isn’t he picking up?
Red Robin: Because he’s a jerk. Not breaking news.
When comic book writers keep changing their minds…
Tim [about Dick and Barbara]: I thought tonight was your big anniversary dinner.
Dick: Yeah. There’s been a little change of plans. We’re breaking up instead.
After rescuing Red Robin from a solo mission gone awry…
Bruce: If I have to hear one more time that you did this for the family…
Tim: I did it for me. I liked it. I was good at it. And… I was really… I was alive.
Mornings at the Manor…
Tim: I’m losing my mind, guys. I sometimes touch the frayed part of the power cord just to feel something.
Alfred: *swiftly takes a step to the side to hide a frayed wire jutting from the kitchen wall*
Jason: *carefully pries the mug of espresso off Tim’s pale, trembling fingers*
Damian: *stealthily moves the butter knife away from Tim’s grasp*
Dick: *grabs Tim’s face and buries it on his chest in a tight hug*
Bruce: *closes the Gotham Gazette, stands up, then fireman-carries his heavily sleep-deprived son up to his room*
Batman: *watching security footage of Green Lantern and Green Arrow making fun of him while he was giving a mission briefing earlier that day* Hn. Do they have any idea how much stalking experience I have?
Superman: If only they did, Bruce. You’re very prolific. You’re the Picasso of creepiness.
Sparring session at the Batcave…
Nightwing: *lights up escrima sticks*
Red Hood: *cocks guns*
Red Robin: *twirls Bo staff*
Robin: *pulls sword out of scabbard*
Robin: *pushes it back*
Red Robin: *smirks* What are you afraid of?
Robin: I’m afraid I’m gonna hit you all so hard that I’ll be an only child.
And he didn’t mean that to be cocky this time. It’s a legitimate concern.
When you’re secretly feeling insecure because your kids seem to prefer being with their Kryptonian uncle over you…
Batman: *all up in Superman’s space* Because I’m a cool dad, Clark.
Batman: That’s my thang. I’m hip, I surf the web, I text. LOL: laugh out loud. OMG: oh my Grodd. WTF: why the face.
Superman: Bruce, I’m not going to lie to your son.
Batman: Come on, Clark. I lie to my sons all the time.
Overheard from within the Manor game room at 4:15 AM…
Jason [to Tim]: Once you reach Level 16, you can see the color blurple.
Or the moment Bruce realized that his sons were never going to sleep. (They really do take after him.)
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